You think you know about loss. About pain. About grief. You think you know sorrow and despair.
And then you really see it. You see a lifelong friend break in front of your eyes at her daughters memorial. The daughter that you should just now be planning a baby shower for. That had a life of hope and promise taken far too soon. The friend that you know is blaming herself for the worst possible choice a parent can make-which wasn't even a choice. The search for reason. Any sense that can be made. You know the barest sliver of what she feels and the weight of that crushes you. The thought of what she is going through has you paralyzed with what-could-have-beens. The sounds of her broken sobs feel like they are coming from your chest but they aren't. You are on the other side.
You think you know about strength and love. Then you see it. You see the pillar of the father. So strong and supportive when you know he is also broken inside. Just because she needs it more right now & his love is propping her up. The love of the family. Of her friends. If only that could make it all better. If only life and death made sense.
You think you know hard. But you have no idea. You can see it in front of you. You can imagine having to live it. But you don't. You had a tiny taste. And then every dream came true. You think your problems are problems...then you see someone you love completely gutted by the stuff of nightmares & you realize you just have no idea.
And then you really see it. You see a lifelong friend break in front of your eyes at her daughters memorial. The daughter that you should just now be planning a baby shower for. That had a life of hope and promise taken far too soon. The friend that you know is blaming herself for the worst possible choice a parent can make-which wasn't even a choice. The search for reason. Any sense that can be made. You know the barest sliver of what she feels and the weight of that crushes you. The thought of what she is going through has you paralyzed with what-could-have-beens. The sounds of her broken sobs feel like they are coming from your chest but they aren't. You are on the other side.
You think you know about strength and love. Then you see it. You see the pillar of the father. So strong and supportive when you know he is also broken inside. Just because she needs it more right now & his love is propping her up. The love of the family. Of her friends. If only that could make it all better. If only life and death made sense.
You think you know hard. But you have no idea. You can see it in front of you. You can imagine having to live it. But you don't. You had a tiny taste. And then every dream came true. You think your problems are problems...then you see someone you love completely gutted by the stuff of nightmares & you realize you just have no idea.
