insomnia

this is normal- right? at 26 weeks i can not stay asleep. i get tired & go to bed just fine. i don't know if i am tossing & turning or if something wakes me up- but 3-4 every morning i at least wake up. every night before this i have fallen back asleep. tonight i am wide awake- so here i am...

i do have a lot on my mind- this is definitely 4 am rambling- so be warned!
- i am bringing a person into the world- which is scary in & of itself.
-i still don't know about maternity leave. i don't know what is paid vs unpaid. i was hoping for no unpaid since there was no raise this year & probably not one next year either.
-we still need to finish the kitchen, but since it is all pretty physical stuff i really can't help the hub too much (he wouldn't let me even if it was stuff i felt comfortable doing) and since he works 6 days a week he really only has 13 days left to get stuff done.
-i have no clue about daycare.
-i don't know what is going on or will go on with the in-laws. there are some health problems in the hub's family & since we are essentially cut off (long long story & the hub's decision which i can not really get into or change) who knows who is doing okay & who has gotten worse.
-i haven't heard from my friend who was supposed to be planning my shower in weeks. i don't care if she doesn't do it, but this may be my only pregnancy- i really do kind of want a shower. i am basically stepping in to help another friend plan it, but now i am freaking out that there is only 3-1/2 months left & no invitations have been sent out, much less any actual planning done. (i never wanted my shower to be a surprise, and i guess if i did then it really would be!) i don't need a shower- we would definitely figure out how to get all the stuff we need, but it would be really nice to be able to pay down more bills if we didn't have to buy the crib (or whatever). besides all that- i am worried about my friend. i know she is off for winter break since she's a teacher & she hasn't gotten back to me through any venue. she's had a really rough year & i worry about her.
-it's taking forever to finish the nursery. that whole 13 days thing means that at least 2 of them need to be spent installing trim (the hub won't let me do since he's a perfectionist) and installing carpet. the carpet should be a simple 30 minute thing since our neighbor who does it for a living offered to do it. but we needed to finish painting first & i did the final touchup last night.
-i am getting more & more annoyed with people in general. well- not in general- ignorant rude people. last night i tried to upgrade my phone. i have known for over a month which phone i wanted & how much it should be. it's the same exact one as the hub's- only a different color. we got a rebate on his phone & it was less than 2 months ago- i was still eligible for the same deal. the first store i went to- as soon as i walked in i had bad experience flashing warnings before my eyes. the 'associate' (aka raging bitch who hates her crappy phone sales job) was a little short in directing me to her register- didn't walk over to see what we wanted- just kind of pushed us to her. then when i spelled out precisely what i wanted- she goes back to get my phone- comes back & says 'you wanted black, right?' when i clearly said that i wanted the white one. she got a little more attitude when i said that if they didn't have a white one i would just go to a different store. another 10 minutes & she finds one. starts the transaction & says 'you know about the $30 pda package you have to get?' i said- no, in fact i didn't & i didn't want it as we didn't need it for the last phone in october & i wasn't going to pay $30 a month for something i wasn't going to use, plus when i went online to find the phone & my eligibility it had nothing about that being required. then the shit hits the fan. full of ghetto attitude she says something to the effect of 'well- then just buy it online then. i'm just doing my job'. now- i'm 6 months pregnant & can get a little cranky quickly these days. i do find myself saying things i would have previously kept to myself- but i told her 'no- you aren't' i get a 'yes i am' complete with head shake & eye roll. i then say- well, you are doing it badly. i go to walk out & i hear 'well- you're a bad customer'. i worked retail from the time i was 15 years old. the one thing i learned was that the customer is always right- even when you go in the back & bitch them out for 10 minutes straight- you still walk up to them with a fucking smile. employ the 'nice bitch' technique if you have to, but you never insult a customer. especially when you work on commission & a guaranteed sale is plopped down in front of you & all you have to do is be nice! i whipped back around so quickly & said 'excuse me?'
-'you heard me'
-'what is your name?' then look at name tag
-'yolanda (or something- i was too angry to remember it for long)- do you want to speak with my manager?' then i get a 'you don't talk to me like that' as she storms off to the back to get the manager. ha!

finally the manager came out- i explained what happened- i employed the nice bitch. hell- i even pulled out the 'who talks to a customer like that? much less- who talks to a pregnant customer like that?' below the belt, yes. unnecessary, of course! satisfying- you betcha!

i of course got nothing from it- just a promise that she must not have known about that particular promotion ending at 3pm today & that he would talk to her later. it's not like i need to go back there. after a trip to another store (these are dedicated corporate stores by the way- no be/st buys or circ.uit cities) that yielded a different price & the same bs $30 plan requirement i called the company directly. i got my phone. free shipping. here on friday. the price i wanted. the only downside is they didn't have white- only blue. oh well- for free shipping & an end to the bad service i took it.

-then since we were starving & in the mall we went to a ruby tue.sday's. i was actually looking forward to one of the things on the menu too. our waitress walks up- no hello, just 'what do you want to drink?' the hub is great- he says 'hi' & pauses. 'hi' again. finally gets a 'hi' back. 'how are you tonight?' (from the hub to the waitress) 'i'm not feeling very good' 'then you shouldn't be at work'. i just looked at him at this point- he knew exactly what i meant as i reached for my coat. 'no thanks- we're good' and off we went.

thankfully we ended on a high note at another restaurant on the way home- great service, yummy food that was at our table super quick. it was more expensive, but i couldn't take yet another sullen grumpy pissed off person in a service position. if your job sucks that much- don't do it. there are thousands of jobs that are just as crappy, that make just as much (or little) money, that don't require you to interact with the public in a customer service capacity. i say all this from experience. i don't know- maybe i was just raised right, but i never was bitchy or unkind to a customer just because my day wasn't the greatest. but living in a city- in a slightly ghetto portion of that city (i say ghetto- but it's really more trashy than ghetto) i expect it, but i'm not happy when i get beat over the head with it.

holy crap- this may be one of my longest posts & it's all bitching about bad customer service! can you tell it's a huge pet peeve?!

tomorrow (well- today really) i just need to get through work & then clean when i get home. the parents are coming to visit for a few days in their traditional post-christmas northeast loop. it will be really nice to see them & get a little spoiled. i have my 1GTT on friday- wish me luck. i think i am up around 2 pounds from my last appointment almost a month ago- which is good since i was pretty sure that 8 pound gain was falsely inflated. this means i am probably hovering around a 14 pound gain- nothing really so quickly as to cause me concern for gest. diab. but stranger things have happened so i am hoping all is well. this is pretty much the last test i have. we don't get any more u/s unless i want to spring for a 3d one. we are still debating that, but i would have to schedule it soon since it's best between 28-32 weeks i hear. still freaked out about the shower thing- which kind of sucks because who freaks out about their own shower? my best friend is stepping up to the plate for it, but she will need my help & she has a lot going on too... sucks. but- if this is the kind of stress i have to deal with to get as 'normal' a pregnancy as i have had- i'll take it with both hands! especially since she is so active that i get to be reassured multiple times a day (and night as she is doing somersaults right now) that she is all good in there- my little kung-fu monkey!

have a wonderful new year's! i for one hope it brings a little sleep- before i get none that is!

less than 100

holy crap- i am now officially in the double digits to go... how did that happen so quickly?!

just picked up the bedding set- so adorable! all brand spanking new- packages not even opened yet! my aunt has my cradle for me the next time i see her so i just need to get sheets & maybe an extra mattress for that. (the one she has is only about an inch thick- is this okay or should i invest in a slightly thicker one? or is it okay to use that with a couple of receiving blankets for softness? thanks!)

we really will just need the nursury furniture- crib & changing table. and of course the carseat & stroller! everything else we are either okay on, or can pick up whenever. oh- and the best friend will be over in about an hour to take pretty pictures & discuss my shower. -my other friend was supposed to help plan it, but she is in ny & has a ton going on in her life right now. i know she reached out to a bunch of people & had a tentative date, but no one has heard from her. i really don't want or need my shower to be a surprise- mainly because i am offering my house as a location for it & it would help for me to know at least when it is & how many people to expect. i don't need to be a momzilla- i honestly don't care for the big elaborate showers anyway. i didn't want one for my wedding & what i got was absolutely perfect. a great potluck buffet at a friends house followed by a night of dancing & drinking with the girls (and my mom, lol!) my only dilemma is who to invite... it always seems so tricky with friends from work (who i know will end up going in on a work shower & i wouldn't dream of having anyone think they ~have~ to get me a gift- much less two!) and then the in-law issue... i don't know if any of my in-laws would want to travel for a shower that's really all about me- as much as the hub is excited this isn't his deal. he kind of wants to disappear for the shower- wherever it is. which is fine with me. i don't know, i'll figure it out. i also understand that times are tough for a lot of people right now & if any of his family wants to wait until the baby is here so they can meet her that's fine with me too. i am trying to keep everything as low key & stress free as possible.

now i am off to play in the nursery with the new bedding until the best friend shows up. i love this shit- it's like a kid in a candy store for me!

here's the pillow in the room- too much to get the whole kit out & propped to take a picture as there is no furniture in the room yet!

the rest of the set is here. i love it! and it works so perfectly in the room, you'd think i did this for a living, hee hee!

ah- christmas

i have to say that this christmas was one of the most stress free, quiet, relaxing christmas' we've had. not having (or getting depending on how you look at it) to travel really cuts down the stress. the hub & i even went out christmas eve & didn't want to run anyone off the road! ;o) knowing that we could just go home & relax with some hot cocoa made the crowds totally bearable. of course- you could tell we are in a recession as it was no problem finding parking & we only had to wait on line for about a minute.

the hub made us waffles on christmas morning. we cleaned the house a little & just hung out with each other. we watched 10,000 b.c. (which was okay- the cgi & effects were decent, but i wouldn't call it a great movie) he made chicken & i made whipped sweet potatoes. he attempted to make cookies while i showered earlier in the day, but didn't read the directions all that well & forgot the egg. which was a blessing in disguise since he severely undercooked them. needless to say- i will be resuming all baking duties around this house!

yesterday i went out with my neighbor to hit up the sales- again, not as crowded as i expected. i finished up my shopping for my best friend, & my parents. of course i had to hit up the clearance racks for little girl baby clothes & got caiden some really cute things. i have 14 weeks to go now- i have a feeling it will go by very quickly!

we're finally finishing up the painting on the nursery today. the hub wanted to spackle & touch up some things. then we just need to install trim & carpet & we are ready for furniture we haven't even gotten yet! i did find my crib set on crai.gslist for a steal- so i am going to try to get that sometime tomorrow or maybe monday. tomorrow my best friend comes over to take maternity photos- so i will have to post them once we are done- probably mid week or so. for now i will have to make due with the good old ghetto cell phone pic... which i still have to take- i'll pop that in later!

well- here's my ghetto belly pic- i have been painting this afternoon (which is 99% done now! Yay!!! just one more coat on the wall that got spackled & we are done!) i'm also picking up our crib set tomorrow- i got the bumper, quilt, fitted sheet, a decorative pillow, an extra sheet & the crib skirt- all for $40!!!! i am super excited esppecially since it just went on clearance & who knows if it will all be available whenever my shower rolls around. plus it's about 60% less than i would pay for even clearance prices! can you tell i love a bargain- even though i had this on my registry & theoretically wouldn't be paying for it anyway, lol!

okay- enough already- here's my sloppy 26 week pic. better ones will be forthcoming so excuse the outfit, hair, lack of makeup or care about personal appearance!

with clothing:

bare belly (somehow seems smaller this way):

picture pages

so- i know i promised pictures & then got completely sidelined for a few days. the good news is we have our internet back. then i went a little crazy at the awesome goodwill by me. i now have a quite respectable wardrobe started! tons of onesies, little pants, hats, nightgowns, sleep blankets, receiving blankets & a number of cute little outfits. even a winter coat- just in case it's still freezing in april. i am really good on 0-3, pretty good at 3-6 & even have some 6-9 & 12 month stuff. the more i buy the more excited i get & the more i can't wait to meet her. (but i really can wait so i want no free spirited 'let's break out of this prison-womb' thoughts from miss caiden!)
i have been feeling really good & the belly is definitely undeniably there now. with clothes. with my winter coat- i really look pregnant. it blows my mind. i must look incredibly vain because everywhere i go if i pass a reflective surface i have to look at myself. i am just blown away daily that the woman in the mirror is me. a year ago i was facing a miserable christmas just hoping i'd have a chance at having a baby the next christmas. and here i am. i will be spending christmas at home with my wonderful hub, my baby belly, the pups & our tree we just got to put up last night. i get to look forward & dream about next christmas & having a crawling little girl zooming around the house getting into everything. i am amazed & overjoyed & overwhelmed. a lot of this has been brewing for a while, but in reading nancy's post tonight, i am compelled to get it all out. despite some family drama, despite not getting a raise this year & being worried about finances, despite not being able to spend christmas with my family (or the hub's), despite still having no clue what is going on for maternity leave & daycare, i have the best life. all of this can & will be worked out. what i do have is so important & so wonderful that the rest just doesn't matter. the hub, the babe, my wonderful friends & sweet bloggy buddies, my family that loves & understands me, even my family that doesn't. the pups, a nice house with plenty of room for a nursery, an office & a guest room. a job that will be here for me through the next year. i really do have a lot to be happy about this year. who needs a present under the tree- i honestly couldn't think of anything to ask for this year anyway.

so- i was really late this time but here are 2 pics for you:

24 weeks 5 days- about to leave the house- hence the lovely hat:

and 25 weeks exactly- not to sound vain again- but i freaking love this picture- my ass looks fantastic in it!!! and it illustrates perfectly how different the belly looks day to day- these two pics are 2 days apart & i swear i look so much bigger in the first one!

radio silence

we are out of internet the moment. life is good & busy & it's not such an inconvenience, but it's only been a day. due through the kindness of one of my neighbors who has not secured their wireless network- i am here momentarily. i can't comment or really do much of anything at work, so i may be unusually (yes- even for me!) quiet for a little while until this is resolved. i can read blogs at work, but not comment.

last night was my holiday party at work- it was so much fun & i had a great time. i of course forgot to bring my pollyanna present like a fucking moron (or at least a preggo moron!) but i will have to bring it in on monday. thankfully it was my good friend at the office so i think she understood! caiden got so many presents- 4 little onesies & shirts & an adorably & totally impractical 0-3 month pink tutu! i love it to death! i had to go through her little wardrobe when i got home, it currently lives in a few bags in my closet. she is actually pretty good on the 0-3 month size. we're decent with onesies in 3-6. if i get anything from a babyshower (who knows when that would even be...) i may have to exchange for larger sizes just to round it out & keep her clothed past september! i am getting so excited to meet her- i want to see her & even though i can totally wait the next 3+ months, i am so excited to meet my baby girl!

a lot of this is coming from officially reaching viability. i am now 25 weeks & i happen to know someone who's twin girls were born this early. they are now 12. while this thought makes me thrilled for the advances in medical science- i definitely do not want my daughter getting any bright ideas! no joining us early- no matter how fun it seems out here! i will try to get my pic from 24 weeks up, but who knows how long this pirated connection can last. until i can get back to normal- take care & i am reading, if not posting or commenting!

i am bad

i know it's been like a week since i have posted. the hub & i went to visit our friends with their 3 week old over the weekend. it was awesome- she is very sweet with the cutest big cheeks & lips! seeing the hub holding her & interacting (well- as much as you can really interact with a 3 week old!) was heartwarming- as cheesy as that sounds. it has made it all a little more real for him & he keeps talking about 'my daughter'. he didn't however- change any diapers. he was too nervous to mess it up! i told him he will have to do it with caiden- there's no avoiding it. he claims he would rather learn on his own kid than mess someone else's up... he's stubborn so there is no arguing about how you could possibly mess up a diapering session with 3 other adults watching you do it!

i need to take my 24 week pic still. my best friend was supposed to come over this week to have a maternity/couple photo shoot, but her grandmother died so we are postponed. i have been very tired & lazy but i will attempt a ghetto cell phone pic at least today & post it tonight. i feel like the bump has gotten huge! we're both feeling her more & more. i call her my kung-fu monkey. (monkey because i am sure she will be hairy like her mom & dad)

i know i harp about my weight- especially those last two posts. believe me- i am fine with gaining 8 pounds in a month if that's what my body needs to do. it isn't even so much the weight (although honestly there is a former fat girl in here that gets heard every now & then) it's the fact that i just knew i hadn't gained that much since the scale jumped overnight. i have a control issue with being right. i don't need to be right all the time or anything- but when i know i am right i can not let it go! and since the hub gets tired of hearing it- it comes out here! i also know that i have had a very small weight gain & somehow i don't want to feel like i am rubbing it in or anything irl. so unfortunately- it sounds like i am neurotic about it here. which is fair in a way- i am! from now on though- since there's only 15 weeks left (holy crap!) i will only update for record, no more neurosis! (okay- maybe one or two, i can't go cold turkey!)


and yes- nancy- there's another paragraph about it. but it's the last one. ;o) i'll update later with a photo to literally overshadow it with my ginormous belly!

8 pounds

that is what the scale said i gained in a month at my 24-ish week appointment today. yikes! i actually would be concerned if it weren't for a few factors:
- i have only previously gained 4.5 pounds in this pregnancy (at my 20-ish week appointment) meaning a grand total weight gain of 12.5 pounds for the entire pregnancy.
- i actually lost a few pounds at the beginning so that weight gain is really more like 10.5 pounds from my 8 week appointment.
- i have no clue what i weighed pre-pregnancy as i last weighed myself in february & that number was only about 5-6 pounds below what i was today.
- i got a scale after i kept staying the same weight- or losing- at appointments & now check every day. yesterday was 4 pounds below this morning's. since i have been sick & most likely not getting enough fluid i am pretty sure that it was 4 pounds of water weight i gained overnight.

for all these reasons i am pretty sure that my actual total weight gain is around 8-10 pounds. i will check again tomorrow morning to be sure. but of course this happens the day of my appointment! my doctor wasn't really concerned- especially after we chatted about all of the above, but she did mention that this was more than they like to see gained in a month. duh- i don't want to gain that quickly! especially 2 weeks before i have to take the 1 hr glucose! i'm still going to make more of an effort to eat a little better. it is the start of the holiday basket & goody season after all. i probably have been eating too much sodium too. i seem to crave salty & cheesy more than anything, or at least gravitate towards it! i'm going to try to replace those urges with fresh fruit & nuts.. (hee hee- nuts!)

other than that the visit was great. everything is normal- the 2nd round of bloodwork for the sequential screen was better than normal- she said numbers were fantastic. the level ii u/s looked great with absolutely perfectly normal kidneys! yay! her heartbeat is still nice & fast & strong in the 150's & the hub is feeling her more & more.

we're going to visit friends this weekend who had their little girl 3 weeks ago tomorrow (thanksgiving baby- how cool is that?!) i am excited to see the hub interact with her & he may even be changing his very first diaper! i've been around infants in my family since i was 12- while i am a little cautious at first i ease into it pretty quickly. he has had virtually no infant experience & they scare the crap out of him. he thinks he will break them. this should be some good training for 3-1/2 months from now. of course it will just make me more impatient until i can meet caiden- i dreamt she was here last night (& had her daddy's nose poor thing!*) she had a full head of dark dark hair & the sweetest mouth i've ever seen. i woke up with such a full heart & so happy. it was fantastic!

*while i adore the hub's nose on the hub- it is quite the classic roman nose- ie way too big & strong for a tiny baby face. especially if that face is a little girls. yes- i will of course think she is the most beautiful creature on the planet if she gets his nose- and strong features just breed strong personalities & characters to go with them. but i saw how much my sister hated her 'beautiful seashell ears' (meaning flapping in the wind) & strong family nose (meaning you could hide in the shade from that thing). and while she is stunning now & her face fits her- i think her personality adapted to it somewhat & she did have to endure endless teasing about features she couldn't change. i just hope my daughter is spared some of that...

i am too sick & tired to think of a good title

i blame my neighbor, she has been sick & came over 2 nights this week. i think i would have been fine except i yanked her hand over the bump on tuesday to feel caiden kicking. and then did not wash my hands. so- i guess that's really my fault... either way- i woke up multiple times yesterday morning thinking my throat was actually ablaze it was so sore. i had to go to work, but took it pretty easy & left a little early. i even felt well enough to stop & get a sexy wrap sweater shirt thingy (in yellow no less- usually not a good color for me, maybe i am sicker than i thought!), a comfy fuzzy white sweater, a pair of maternity jeans, & a super cute little outfit for caiden. all for under $40. yay for the ghetto ross!

i have a ton of shit to do still- the parent's christmas presents are getting done this week. i need to figure out what we are doing for the sister. i have to finish my pollyanna gift for work. there are a ton of kids at work i would like to get a little something for, but since i am pretty tight with money as is i am not sure what to do. i was thinking either total cheese & offering up a free night of babysitting (a bonus for the woman pregnant with her 4th) or getting some kind of cute, but inexpensive, little toys or books. of course today i am too tired & dizzy & congested to do anything! i thought i was going to pass out for a minute just folding laundry. so my ass will be sitting down the rest of the day. until tonight- when i need to rally to go out for sushi dinner with friends. our old roommate (he of the evil dog but nice guy status) has a new girlfriend & i guess they are getting pretty serious. we haven't met her yet, but she & the hub share a sushi love so we are going to one of our favorite places. i never ate sushi before i was pregnant- so it's not tortuous now, but this is the kind of place i would trust to eat something even if i were a raw fish eater. their food is delicious, the service is always amazing, plus they have a section that is a raised platform with the traditional low sushi tables. i really hope we get one tonight!

other than that i have actually been pretty productive this week. i sent in my maternity registration, signed up for childbirth & parenting classes for february, and researched some daycares. i am 23 weeks today, which seems too early to be looking, but i am nervous about waiting lists or getting stuck in a daycare i don't like because we waited too long. the more babies that are born around me (whether irl, or in the blogosphere) the more real it gets for me. i can't wait to meet her, but on the other hand i want to stay like this a good long while! i am so curious what she looks like & who she is, but i can wait to find out. it's a strange feeling. i did find one daycarevthat is close to the house, highly recommended, looks pretty good so far, and seems to be within our budget. plus the hub may be hearing about a new job offer today or monday. if he gets it then we can afford both daycare & insurance for the whole family. yay!!! despite the fact that he is indeed working now & getting paid pretty decently- there is no room for advancement & he really needs to make a little more, or not have to pay his own health insurance, for us to be comfortable with all of caiden's expenses coming up.

speaking of expenses- i have my fsa account renewal staring at me- i know how much to put in for me & the maternity hospital stay & all that, but just how many times does the baby go to the doctor in the first 8 months? i can always use the money on things like contact solutions (or even contacts & diaper creams) but if i can budget out for doctor visits that would be great! i know there is a one month/two month checkup- but how many times should i plan on bringing her in? any insight is appreciated - my poor sick & foggy brain can only handle so many adult things in a week!

oh what a night...

last night was both frighteningly awful & amazingly wonderful at the same time. first the awful:

the hub got into a battle royal with my mil. while this is not uncommon & i have tried to end many a fight between them from our side of the phone- this one apparently let her say a bunch of things she has been wanting to say for a long time. i won't go into details, but the summary is that a lot of very hurtful things were said on both sides & the most hurtful of all was directed towards me. who wasn't included in their fight to begin with, nor did it have anything to do with me, the hub, or my family- but that was all brought up. i think mil was hurt that we saw my family for thanksgiving & are not traveling to see them this year. i really wish we could- but the only reason i saw my family is that they were 40 minutes away, not 6 hours. we could go & come back in an afternoon & not have to board the dogs or have someone watch the house while we are gone. (we were initially going to have the in-laws over for the holiday but they could not afford to come down. believe me when i say if anyone understands that- it's us)

either way- it led to a very upsetting night where i was literally shaking i was so upset. i was crying & just so hurt. when the hub (who is fantastic in that he always sticks up for me in any fight whether i deserve it or not- unless of course we are the ones fighting!) & i finally went to bed i was still pretty upset, but calming down. well- caiden must've still had some adrenaline pumping because she was squirming around much later than she usually does. i quick grabbed the hub's hand & he thought he could feel it whenever i said 'how about that one?' but he wasn't sold since they weren't very big movements. either way though- she was either saying that she was upset too- or shut the fuck up you guys, i'm trying to sleep here!

i felt a little better this morning & did get an apology e-mail from my mil after sending a very long one to her letting her know how upset i was & why. while i am still sad & hurt, i am letting it go mainly because i don't need or want stress right now- i have plenty on my own thank you very much! i also took my 22 week pic, just 3 days late!

now- this is first thing in the morning- there is no bra involved which is why i am hauling my massive boobs out of the way! my eyes are swollen from a night of crying & it looks like i have a seam in my side... you can even see the hub in the corner- yes he is texting at 7 am. i swear he's got a valid reason & not an addicted techno geek! (well- maybe just a little bit) he does make me look even bigger than i am though since he seems sooo much shorter than me!

tonight made up for last night tenfold. our neighbor came over with yummy chinese food & i guess caiden really likes it because about 10 minutes or so after eating she started kicking like mad. i put my hand down to see if i could feel it & *boom* giant kick to the hand. my neighbor was closer & we had just been talking about the hub maybe feeling her last night so i yanked her hand over & she was rewarded with another big kick. then i grabbed the hub who immediately got the biggest kick i have ever felt & the look on his face made the entire previous night melt away. it was shock, disbelief & wonder all wrapped into one. he just said 'oh my god. i just got kicked!' there was no questioning this one! and before 23 weeks. it seems so soon to me, but so wonderful at the same time. i think she is a little overachiever already- just like mom & dad! or maybe not so little... she always measures ahead by a few days. perhaps she will be an april fool's baby after all.

all i know is despite not knowing what is going on between my hub & in-laws, i am so happy that we can both feel our little girl in my belly. i sent in my maternity registration forms & even picked a pediatrician. at least preliminarily- i will go into the office in february to meet with them & scope them out to decide for real. i am looking into childbirth prep classes & a free infant care class. we can go tour the hospital at any time. that 'real' thing i was talking about the other day... it's getting realer by the second!