my mortgage is paid off. it disappeared from my online banking. of course- the new mortgage starts in april, but we have a 'coast' month. much much needed. i should also be getting my big fat check today so i can then pay off all our debt. grand savings per month: around $400.
now- i am using rounded up numbers, but i just want to work this out:
income lessened by: $500
expenses added with baby (known): $600 daycare (as long as we do 4 days a week- i know this is pretty darn cheap & i do like the place too. at least so far...)
health insurance for baby: $50 (again- as long as we qualify for the state sponsored program, which we do i think. it's hard to apply when the little girl hasn't been born yet & has no social security #. oh- and it's the exact same insurance that she'd get going on my plan for almost $200 less)
i am not even guessing at what we will need as far as grocery/diaper/baby essentials go. i am budgeting something around $700 a month just because that's what we'll have.
that makes a total of $1350. with $500-$400, we still need to cut out at least $100 from our expenses. the hub took the one car off the road along with his motorcycle. that cuts around $200. cable tv is a thing of the past saving another $100. so we may be okay yet. as long as we are careful & save everything extra we can because this economy is fucking scary.
of course- i fully plan on blowing the budget a bit for the first month of leave. there's just no way to know what we will need & what we will spend. but knowing what we have does help. so does actually having a little cushion thanks to the refi.
in non-financial news, my hands are extremely stiff when waking up. i know that because i am sleeping on my side they alternately fall asleep during the night. is this making them sore & stiff in the morning, is it pregnancy that does it, or should i now worry about the arthritis that is in my family? i can't close my hands into a fist for at least an hour after waking up. will this continue when she's here? how will i change her?!
i am meeting with the pediatrician today- i need to figure out exactly what i want to ask them- any suggestions?
i also passed the 300 post mark without even noticing.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
34 weeks & a shower
so i said i would post some photos- here you go...
first- the shower
here's the dress & the bounty. can you say 'holy crap people bought way too much stuff!' i am eternally grateful & vastly overwhelmed by the generosity of my friends family & coworkers.
me & the friend who did it all (coordinating with other amazing friends from 3 states away!)
the most amazing cake. how well do my friends know me?! and it tasted even better than it looked- vanilla pound cake with strawberries & cream inside & a fudge-like frosting. worth every pound it packs on!
and finally- the composite picture my sister made of how caiden could look based on different parts & pieces of the hub & i. this is one scary chic. but it makes me laugh!
and to leave you- a comparison of 2 weeks ago & sunday (34w1d) i am pretty sure she is slowly dropping.
h this is my blog & it's
this may be the most pictures of me i have ever posted, it's a little strange- even though this is my blog & it's all about me!
we got a certificate for sitting through 3 childbirth prep classes. i guess it's now official & we are ready to have this kid. the hub is getting very excited & can't wait. he says the only thing that scares him is not sleeping. i laugh when he says this.
Monday, February 23, 2009
showered with love
i am officially overwhelmed from my shower on saturday. the generosity of my friends, family & coworkers has me totally blown away! barring a few minor items (high chair, breast pump, nursing stool & cradle sheets) we are pretty much all set for this baby girl! my friends who organized (& mom who cooked way too much food of course!) were amazing! my house looked so cute & fun. the theme was 'born to rock' and it was all guitars & bright colors, no pastels in site. everyone seemed to have a really good time & i was surprised (shocked!) at how long it took to open all the presents! it really takes me by surprise when people want to do nice things for me, i just never expect it. i'm not used to be spoiled & i have to say it felt really nice!
i really do have the best friends & family. i couldn't even feel like something was missing by the hub's family not being there. while he has made up with his mom she still wouldn't come. which is fine- i respect that. but we didn't even get a chance to invite anyone else. it probably would have been weird to have aunts & cousins there when the mother-in-law wasn't. but still... it would have been nice to have family all together.
there were a few people who didn't show that i missed. a couple of girlfriends, my 2 aunts couldn't make it & my cousin & goddaughter had an emergency. but with everyone that was there it was a full house! i was really happy with how everything turned out. and my dress- i got tons of compliments. once i download photos i'll have to post a few.
my mom & sister stayed until yesterday afternoon, it was so nice to visit with them. we went to tar.get to exchange the only 2 duplicate items i got along with some bassinet sheets i bought the day before to see if they fit my cradle (totally didn't). i had a few gift cards & my sis wanted to get me even more things since she felt she didn't do anything to help plan the party. i thought she was ridiculous. but you can't stop her because she physically blocks me from paying. all i could do was toss my gift cards at the cashier & hope she didn't spend too much. which of course she did. caiden's a very lucky spoiled little girl already! i'll have to teach her some good manners!
our friends stayed over with their 3 month old. it was so sweet because she went down to the basement with the boys (the hub, her dad & my best friend's boyfriend) the hub was getting tons of practice, although i doubt he changed a single diaper. seeing him with her was such a great experience though. he's never really around babies, especially not infants. he found one toy that was like baby vali.um- a ba.by ein.stein musical thing & she was just fascinated by it. he would carry her around when she got fussy & my heart was swelling about 3 times it's size. i know he is just as excited as i am, but seeing it right in front of me- i can't wait!
the pups were exceptionally good with an infant in the house also. granted- they were extremely worn out from saturday, but they just went up to the little one & sniffed her, chase wanted to get in really close, but he's a little too big. he sat when he was told to & despite his obsession with squeaky toys, he actually listened when we told him they were not for him. roxy just pushed her little nose in & gave the baby tons of kisses. the baby has never really been around dogs & just looked at her with this confused look. 'my other toys don't do that- i don't know about this one'. they were very good though & i was proud of them. chase got a little needy after everyone left- so we'll have to keep up the training, but make sure they know we still love them, but i think they'll be just fine.
all in all- it was an exciting, wonderful, emotional & exhausting weekend. we have our last childbirth class tonight & then the first steps to parenting class tomorrow. wednesday i should get my check from the closing (which is allocated before i get so i don't think i have tons of money to spend!) and all my debt will be paid off! except of course for the mortgage... i can even probably afford all of my 10 weeks of maternity leave & getting those last few items i want. hopefully next week goes well as it's my 36 week appointment, group b strep test & just for fun- an audit. (which shouldn't be a big deal i just really don't want to go through it!) life is counting down to her arrival & it feels very fast now. i am actually doing baby laundry this week. little socks & hats in a bag have got to be the cutest things i've ever seen!
i really do have the best friends & family. i couldn't even feel like something was missing by the hub's family not being there. while he has made up with his mom she still wouldn't come. which is fine- i respect that. but we didn't even get a chance to invite anyone else. it probably would have been weird to have aunts & cousins there when the mother-in-law wasn't. but still... it would have been nice to have family all together.
there were a few people who didn't show that i missed. a couple of girlfriends, my 2 aunts couldn't make it & my cousin & goddaughter had an emergency. but with everyone that was there it was a full house! i was really happy with how everything turned out. and my dress- i got tons of compliments. once i download photos i'll have to post a few.
my mom & sister stayed until yesterday afternoon, it was so nice to visit with them. we went to tar.get to exchange the only 2 duplicate items i got along with some bassinet sheets i bought the day before to see if they fit my cradle (totally didn't). i had a few gift cards & my sis wanted to get me even more things since she felt she didn't do anything to help plan the party. i thought she was ridiculous. but you can't stop her because she physically blocks me from paying. all i could do was toss my gift cards at the cashier & hope she didn't spend too much. which of course she did. caiden's a very lucky spoiled little girl already! i'll have to teach her some good manners!
our friends stayed over with their 3 month old. it was so sweet because she went down to the basement with the boys (the hub, her dad & my best friend's boyfriend) the hub was getting tons of practice, although i doubt he changed a single diaper. seeing him with her was such a great experience though. he's never really around babies, especially not infants. he found one toy that was like baby vali.um- a ba.by ein.stein musical thing & she was just fascinated by it. he would carry her around when she got fussy & my heart was swelling about 3 times it's size. i know he is just as excited as i am, but seeing it right in front of me- i can't wait!
the pups were exceptionally good with an infant in the house also. granted- they were extremely worn out from saturday, but they just went up to the little one & sniffed her, chase wanted to get in really close, but he's a little too big. he sat when he was told to & despite his obsession with squeaky toys, he actually listened when we told him they were not for him. roxy just pushed her little nose in & gave the baby tons of kisses. the baby has never really been around dogs & just looked at her with this confused look. 'my other toys don't do that- i don't know about this one'. they were very good though & i was proud of them. chase got a little needy after everyone left- so we'll have to keep up the training, but make sure they know we still love them, but i think they'll be just fine.
all in all- it was an exciting, wonderful, emotional & exhausting weekend. we have our last childbirth class tonight & then the first steps to parenting class tomorrow. wednesday i should get my check from the closing (which is allocated before i get so i don't think i have tons of money to spend!) and all my debt will be paid off! except of course for the mortgage... i can even probably afford all of my 10 weeks of maternity leave & getting those last few items i want. hopefully next week goes well as it's my 36 week appointment, group b strep test & just for fun- an audit. (which shouldn't be a big deal i just really don't want to go through it!) life is counting down to her arrival & it feels very fast now. i am actually doing baby laundry this week. little socks & hats in a bag have got to be the cutest things i've ever seen!
Friday, February 20, 2009
a quickie
so i am back from the closing which went amazingly well & smooth. everything should be paid off by the 26th. with the exception that all the debt i thought was getting rolled into the loan ended up not being so i get a check sent to me for everything extra. it's a pretty hefty check & granted about 85% of it will be gone immediately to pay off everything i was planning on paying so we get rid of monthly payments. but that 15% is still there. and will be put to use to cover maternity leave & all the extras we will need to get for caiden. the hub called & cancelled the insurance on everything but the one car that we make a payment on (& therefor need to keep full coverage on). so there's $200 extra a month. then the $100 we save by cancelling the cable last week & i found out that it's about $160 less a month for 4 days of daycare than 5. Of course- 5 days a week is a better deal, but i'll keep her home with me for my one day 'off'. it will actually be kind of nice to have more time with her.
i am getting very excited for tomorrow & the future is not looking as scary as it could have 2 days ago. the hub & i are cleaning & my friend is on her way- should be here in about 2 hours.
i am getting very excited for tomorrow & the future is not looking as scary as it could have 2 days ago. the hub & i are cleaning & my friend is on her way- should be here in about 2 hours.
so much to do, so little time
this is probably the most boring kind of post, but i need to organize my thoughts!
today is insane & tomorrow is my shower! it's at my house but i didn't do anything except hand over names & addresses. oh yeah- and clean the shit out of my house & threaten the hub with months of sleeping in the garage if the kitchen didn't get some major attention. the good news is that the kitchen got some major attention! he had a week off between jobs (new one is 5 blocks away & pays better with a better environment! just in time!) and busted ass getting the rest of the ceiling drywall in, the rest of the drywall up on walls that were just studs for much longer than i care to admit, tearing down & rebuilding the low wall between the kitchen & the stairs so it was done properly & at a better height, spackling, priming & even got paint on the backsplash. it's not finished by any stretch of the imagination, but it's close. another couple weekends & we'll have a major renovation that has taken us 2-1/2 years done(heh- we started the kitchen reno 2 months before we started trying for a baby & 4 months before the hub opened the shop- which is why it has taken so freaking long. no money+no time+an impatient hub that started demo before we had materials purchased= living in what amounts to a squatters hovel for way too long) i will be so glad to see this done- i don't even care about the many many compromises i have made along the way. as a designer they sting occasionally, but to see a finished product i can live with not getting what i want 100%.
i cleaned the bathroom last night. i may have overdone it a bot. while my bathroom is sparkling clean, i definitely felt a contraction at the end. i've had very random braxton-hicks for the past 2 weeks or so. sometimes a full week in between, so not too many at all really. but i've had them & last night's was the strongest. so i stopped & went to sit down. but i must be nesting because i just couldn't sit still & was up & down getting bedding together for our many guests so i could make beds today. finally i had to pick up some crochet work i haven't had time to do for months just to keep me off my feet. i went to bed & had a really crappy nights sleep. tossing & turning all night long. the poor hub was up at 6 (or earlier) because of me & when he could have been very grumpy with no sleep he just said he couldn't wait to get up even more often during the night & gave me a kiss. he's really gotten much sweeter as i get closer to the end. i love it & hope it lasts!
we have my best friend from ny coming in tonight- she organized the shower; the hub's best friend from ny, his fiance & their little girl (3 months) coming in also. luckily we have my cradle & a packnplay for them but i need to go out & get cradle sheets since i don't have any yet. i also need a few essentials like milk, bread, eggs & maybe some sausage or bacon for breakfast. i can't get too much though because my mom & sis are coming tomorrow morning & they need room in the fridge for the ton & a half of food my mom made. i know she went overboard, she's been calling or e-mailing me about 3 times a week to give me status updates. now- the shower isn't a surprise, but all the details are. i never even saw an invitation & that's fine. i didn't want to have to plan my shower & i am happy that someone else did it! my mom is just really excited & food is love with her, so no matter how many times i remind her that i am not planning everything- she still has to tell me all about what she's done. it's really cute & she is just happy, so i don't mind knowing all the goodies she's making.
i still have to close on the refi today- hopefully that happens this afternoon. then while i am out i need to find a cradle sheet to fit my cradle from when i was a baby. although- if this little girl coming is as big as i think she is- she won't fit in the cradle anyway. i should really find out how much she weighs!
the floors all need to be cleaned & all the furniture dusted. i need to put the couch cover on &keep the dogs off it after that. all while working from home this morning. ack. so much to do!
oh- and i need to figure out how to paint my toes since i had gotten open toed wedges to go with my dress for tomorrow. i can't freaking reach them. the hub will not do a good job- my sister comes tomorrow. maybe i can ask her... things i never thought i would have to worry about!
today is insane & tomorrow is my shower! it's at my house but i didn't do anything except hand over names & addresses. oh yeah- and clean the shit out of my house & threaten the hub with months of sleeping in the garage if the kitchen didn't get some major attention. the good news is that the kitchen got some major attention! he had a week off between jobs (new one is 5 blocks away & pays better with a better environment! just in time!) and busted ass getting the rest of the ceiling drywall in, the rest of the drywall up on walls that were just studs for much longer than i care to admit, tearing down & rebuilding the low wall between the kitchen & the stairs so it was done properly & at a better height, spackling, priming & even got paint on the backsplash. it's not finished by any stretch of the imagination, but it's close. another couple weekends & we'll have a major renovation that has taken us 2-1/2 years done(heh- we started the kitchen reno 2 months before we started trying for a baby & 4 months before the hub opened the shop- which is why it has taken so freaking long. no money+no time+an impatient hub that started demo before we had materials purchased= living in what amounts to a squatters hovel for way too long) i will be so glad to see this done- i don't even care about the many many compromises i have made along the way. as a designer they sting occasionally, but to see a finished product i can live with not getting what i want 100%.
i cleaned the bathroom last night. i may have overdone it a bot. while my bathroom is sparkling clean, i definitely felt a contraction at the end. i've had very random braxton-hicks for the past 2 weeks or so. sometimes a full week in between, so not too many at all really. but i've had them & last night's was the strongest. so i stopped & went to sit down. but i must be nesting because i just couldn't sit still & was up & down getting bedding together for our many guests so i could make beds today. finally i had to pick up some crochet work i haven't had time to do for months just to keep me off my feet. i went to bed & had a really crappy nights sleep. tossing & turning all night long. the poor hub was up at 6 (or earlier) because of me & when he could have been very grumpy with no sleep he just said he couldn't wait to get up even more often during the night & gave me a kiss. he's really gotten much sweeter as i get closer to the end. i love it & hope it lasts!
we have my best friend from ny coming in tonight- she organized the shower; the hub's best friend from ny, his fiance & their little girl (3 months) coming in also. luckily we have my cradle & a packnplay for them but i need to go out & get cradle sheets since i don't have any yet. i also need a few essentials like milk, bread, eggs & maybe some sausage or bacon for breakfast. i can't get too much though because my mom & sis are coming tomorrow morning & they need room in the fridge for the ton & a half of food my mom made. i know she went overboard, she's been calling or e-mailing me about 3 times a week to give me status updates. now- the shower isn't a surprise, but all the details are. i never even saw an invitation & that's fine. i didn't want to have to plan my shower & i am happy that someone else did it! my mom is just really excited & food is love with her, so no matter how many times i remind her that i am not planning everything- she still has to tell me all about what she's done. it's really cute & she is just happy, so i don't mind knowing all the goodies she's making.
i still have to close on the refi today- hopefully that happens this afternoon. then while i am out i need to find a cradle sheet to fit my cradle from when i was a baby. although- if this little girl coming is as big as i think she is- she won't fit in the cradle anyway. i should really find out how much she weighs!
the floors all need to be cleaned & all the furniture dusted. i need to put the couch cover on &keep the dogs off it after that. all while working from home this morning. ack. so much to do!
oh- and i need to figure out how to paint my toes since i had gotten open toed wedges to go with my dress for tomorrow. i can't freaking reach them. the hub will not do a good job- my sister comes tomorrow. maybe i can ask her... things i never thought i would have to worry about!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
i'm blushing! (and late to the game) *updated*
two wonderful bloggy buddies, kate & nancy, have given me the Honest Scrap award!
this is given to blogs found brilliant in content or design. (i am so blushing at that one!) it is to be passed on to 7 bloggers then you list at least 10 honest things about yourself.
1. i am terrified of getting fired or laid off. i always have been even though i know i am an excellent employee & have never been fired (knock on some major piece of wood here due to the really shitty economy & a nerve wracking week at work)
2. i love to be lazy. i am frequently way too busy to indulge, but i would love to just lie around all day & watch bad tv.
3. yet- i get bored sitting around the house by myself for too long. i need to be with people sometimes.
4. i love my dogs, but sometimes wish we only had the one (my dog chase). as much as i do love roxy- she's a jack russell & very bad tempered & impossible to train since the hub spoils her rotten.
5. i sometimes wish i didn't have to work, but know i would always want to work.
6. i wish i knew how to love my body sooner. i love being pregnant & how i look now & can look back & appreciate how 'skinny' i really was when getting pregnant.
7. i worry about everything. you name it- i've worried about it. but when something bad does happen i don't have to freak out as much because i've already done it.
8. i hate having to fart in public- or even in front of the hub. i have only done it a handful of times & we have lived together for over 8 years.
9. i am super girly about some things- i know all about hair & makeup & love to do both. but yet i wear very little makeup, never have my nails done & haven't been to a salon in years.
10. i have very low blood pressure which means that on occasion i have a hard time catching my breath and get extremely claustrophobic. no matter where i am.
i don't know who to tag who hasn't already done this! if you read here & i read you back- consider yourself tagged!
* the serious part of this post is i really am freaking the hell out right now wondering what tomorrow holds. there is a serious company meeting, which never sounds good. and in this shitty economy it can't be good. the only good news i have to hold onto right now is that i am finally closing on my refi on friday. so maybe- just maybe i will still have my original maternity leave & still be able to afford some additional time off unpaid so i don't have to go back to work after 6 weeks. can you all just send some good thoughts my way that i am freaking out over nothing? i will find out soon enough- but it's going to be a long night.
**update- so the meeting wasn't the worst I could think of, but not good. i now am proud owner of a 4 day work week & a 20% reduction in salary. but i still have my job & as far as i know my original leave (as pitiful as it seemed then now i'm more than happy to have it!)
it's a blow, but not a shock. it sucks, but not impossible. between the refi saving money, getting rid of the cable (already done for other reasons), we can go down to one car & daycare 4 days a week saves a little over $150 a month. so we'll get through it. it will be tough, but we'll manage. and who knows- maybe things will turn around by the time i get back from leave. i still would be able to stay out for 10 weeks. so that's something, right?
this is given to blogs found brilliant in content or design. (i am so blushing at that one!) it is to be passed on to 7 bloggers then you list at least 10 honest things about yourself.
1. i am terrified of getting fired or laid off. i always have been even though i know i am an excellent employee & have never been fired (knock on some major piece of wood here due to the really shitty economy & a nerve wracking week at work)
2. i love to be lazy. i am frequently way too busy to indulge, but i would love to just lie around all day & watch bad tv.
3. yet- i get bored sitting around the house by myself for too long. i need to be with people sometimes.
4. i love my dogs, but sometimes wish we only had the one (my dog chase). as much as i do love roxy- she's a jack russell & very bad tempered & impossible to train since the hub spoils her rotten.
5. i sometimes wish i didn't have to work, but know i would always want to work.
6. i wish i knew how to love my body sooner. i love being pregnant & how i look now & can look back & appreciate how 'skinny' i really was when getting pregnant.
7. i worry about everything. you name it- i've worried about it. but when something bad does happen i don't have to freak out as much because i've already done it.
8. i hate having to fart in public- or even in front of the hub. i have only done it a handful of times & we have lived together for over 8 years.
9. i am super girly about some things- i know all about hair & makeup & love to do both. but yet i wear very little makeup, never have my nails done & haven't been to a salon in years.
10. i have very low blood pressure which means that on occasion i have a hard time catching my breath and get extremely claustrophobic. no matter where i am.
i don't know who to tag who hasn't already done this! if you read here & i read you back- consider yourself tagged!
* the serious part of this post is i really am freaking the hell out right now wondering what tomorrow holds. there is a serious company meeting, which never sounds good. and in this shitty economy it can't be good. the only good news i have to hold onto right now is that i am finally closing on my refi on friday. so maybe- just maybe i will still have my original maternity leave & still be able to afford some additional time off unpaid so i don't have to go back to work after 6 weeks. can you all just send some good thoughts my way that i am freaking out over nothing? i will find out soon enough- but it's going to be a long night.
**update- so the meeting wasn't the worst I could think of, but not good. i now am proud owner of a 4 day work week & a 20% reduction in salary. but i still have my job & as far as i know my original leave (as pitiful as it seemed then now i'm more than happy to have it!)
it's a blow, but not a shock. it sucks, but not impossible. between the refi saving money, getting rid of the cable (already done for other reasons), we can go down to one car & daycare 4 days a week saves a little over $150 a month. so we'll get through it. it will be tough, but we'll manage. and who knows- maybe things will turn around by the time i get back from leave. i still would be able to stay out for 10 weeks. so that's something, right?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
busy times
* so due to spotty internet service this post has sat here for the weekend... i will attempt to get a better post together soon!
this post will be fairly boring- i promise that! we are busy trying to get the house together for saturday. it seems like no matter how much gets accomplished- the list is neverending. all the drywall is up & most likely to be spackled today. which means that tuesday we will prime & wednesday we will paint. hopefully...
monday is our 2nd childbirth class- talk about a funny experience with the hub. he was all congested last week & literally couldn't breath. not that i would have held it against him- it would probably just annoy me to have him trying to breathe with me when really in labor. i am a fan of the long slow breathing technique, but the other ones don't feel natural at all to me. i was starting to get panicky & felt like i was hyperventilating just attempting them in class. i did like seeing the different positions & ideas for what to do doing labor. i will probably bring my exercise ball with us, whether it gets used or not who knows- but it would be nice to have the option. nothing was new or earthshattering information for me, but there was stuff i wouldn't have necessarily thought of on my own while in the throes of labor. so we'll see what this week holds.
speaking of this week- ummm- 33 weeks. holy crap! seeing a new week tick by really never gets old for me (i'm a simple girl, it doesn't take much to amaze me!) but this week she is about 4 pounds or so & almost her full length she will be at birth. wow. i am going to ask the doc this week how she is lying because to me it kind of feels like she is all horizontal in there- straight across the belly. she is still very active & the neighbor was able to see some of her alienesque belly moving last night. very cool- that is my favorite part of pregnancy so far.
we have gotten rid of our cable & internet. well- they were bundled & the cable service is hideously awful- so we said no more. we are probably going to get the whole antenna/converter box thing & so far we've just been watching movies when we want something to sit in front of. it's been pretty nice. and thankfully there is a free wireless spot right outside our house (who knew!) that we can use. it's spotty & slow & pretty crappy, but it does the job for checking e-mail & updating the blog. so we may just hold off & save ourselves the $130 a month since we know it can be put to much better use elsewhere.
*as of monday the hub has restored the internet. at least the cable is gone & the bill is cut in half. i was okay with the wireless, but he got too annoyed when it kept cutting out.
i am trying to get everything into this week- ordering chairs for saturday, calling a pediatrician for a initial visit to see if we like them, 34 week appointment, cleaning the house, getting the kitchen i ready, getting places for 5 people to sleep in the house ready. it's a busy week and i am already exhausted! luckily the hub is home this week to work on the kitchen. so hopefully it will not only get done, but i won't have to be the one to do it!
this post will be fairly boring- i promise that! we are busy trying to get the house together for saturday. it seems like no matter how much gets accomplished- the list is neverending. all the drywall is up & most likely to be spackled today. which means that tuesday we will prime & wednesday we will paint. hopefully...
monday is our 2nd childbirth class- talk about a funny experience with the hub. he was all congested last week & literally couldn't breath. not that i would have held it against him- it would probably just annoy me to have him trying to breathe with me when really in labor. i am a fan of the long slow breathing technique, but the other ones don't feel natural at all to me. i was starting to get panicky & felt like i was hyperventilating just attempting them in class. i did like seeing the different positions & ideas for what to do doing labor. i will probably bring my exercise ball with us, whether it gets used or not who knows- but it would be nice to have the option. nothing was new or earthshattering information for me, but there was stuff i wouldn't have necessarily thought of on my own while in the throes of labor. so we'll see what this week holds.
speaking of this week- ummm- 33 weeks. holy crap! seeing a new week tick by really never gets old for me (i'm a simple girl, it doesn't take much to amaze me!) but this week she is about 4 pounds or so & almost her full length she will be at birth. wow. i am going to ask the doc this week how she is lying because to me it kind of feels like she is all horizontal in there- straight across the belly. she is still very active & the neighbor was able to see some of her alienesque belly moving last night. very cool- that is my favorite part of pregnancy so far.
we have gotten rid of our cable & internet. well- they were bundled & the cable service is hideously awful- so we said no more. we are probably going to get the whole antenna/converter box thing & so far we've just been watching movies when we want something to sit in front of. it's been pretty nice. and thankfully there is a free wireless spot right outside our house (who knew!) that we can use. it's spotty & slow & pretty crappy, but it does the job for checking e-mail & updating the blog. so we may just hold off & save ourselves the $130 a month since we know it can be put to much better use elsewhere.
*as of monday the hub has restored the internet. at least the cable is gone & the bill is cut in half. i was okay with the wireless, but he got too annoyed when it kept cutting out.
i am trying to get everything into this week- ordering chairs for saturday, calling a pediatrician for a initial visit to see if we like them, 34 week appointment, cleaning the house, getting the kitchen i ready, getting places for 5 people to sleep in the house ready. it's a busy week and i am already exhausted! luckily the hub is home this week to work on the kitchen. so hopefully it will not only get done, but i won't have to be the one to do it!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
it must be nesting- because i'm no susie homemaker
today was very productive. aside from a low wall- the kitchen is drywalled! the hub will be taping & spackling throughout the week so we can paint this weekend. this will make the kitchen look so much better than it has for the last.... i'm ashamed to even say how long it has taken. after we paint he'll build the low wall & if we can get to painting that for the shower- great. if not i am not going to cry over it as at least everything will be 'finished' & everyone can tell what it will eventually look like. after months of procrastination- the hub has finally gotten it into gear & i am very happy about that. of course- the motivation of knowing that i am 1000% serious when i tell him if it isn't done he is sleeping in the (unheated) garage until caiden gets here is probably good motivation!
i got a huge nesting urge today- i bought a swif.fer, which somehow led to inspiration to rip out the disgusting looking glass shower doors i hate (don't worry- the hub did the really dirty & heavy parts) & thoroughly scrub & scour the shower itself. i then installed the new curtain rod & curtain. the bathroom looks smaller (but it's pretty big to begin with) but so much cleaner & sleeker. plus i don't have to get frustrated that no matter how much i clean & scrub- the glass looks foggy & dirty immediately. now i can just throw a curtain in the wash & call it a day. plus- until we can get the money, materials & time together to put in a tub, we will be giving caiden her baths either in the kitchen sink, or in her tub in the shower- which would have been impossible with glass doors.
i also got new towels for the shower. i just want to make sure that all the little things are done so i can just tidy up & make the house look good that day. although i know that i will have tons of help- my girlfriend who is throwing the shower & my mom & sis are coming early to help & set up, plus the hub is here- i still feel like there are some things i just really want to get done. i am feeling slightly more relaxed about it though now that some real progress has happened in the kitchen.
another random thing is i think i want a hair cut- but i don't really know what to do with it. i have heavy bangs & my hair is getting longer - it's past the collarbone now. but the texture is changing a bit- it's getting wavy, not a nice pretty wavy with actual curl, but a random kink here & there kind of wavy. i may need to seek professional help, but i know that won't be happening before next month & then at that point do i just wait until after she's born? will my hair change again? part of me thinks i should do it now while i have time for me, but the nagging practical part says i should just wait until at least a month or 2 after she's here & pamper myself then.
we have friends coming over for dinner & tomorrow we start our childbirth classes. it's all getting very real & exciting. the hub is getting into it too, but we'll see how enthusiastic he is after tomorrow night.
i got a huge nesting urge today- i bought a swif.fer, which somehow led to inspiration to rip out the disgusting looking glass shower doors i hate (don't worry- the hub did the really dirty & heavy parts) & thoroughly scrub & scour the shower itself. i then installed the new curtain rod & curtain. the bathroom looks smaller (but it's pretty big to begin with) but so much cleaner & sleeker. plus i don't have to get frustrated that no matter how much i clean & scrub- the glass looks foggy & dirty immediately. now i can just throw a curtain in the wash & call it a day. plus- until we can get the money, materials & time together to put in a tub, we will be giving caiden her baths either in the kitchen sink, or in her tub in the shower- which would have been impossible with glass doors.
i also got new towels for the shower. i just want to make sure that all the little things are done so i can just tidy up & make the house look good that day. although i know that i will have tons of help- my girlfriend who is throwing the shower & my mom & sis are coming early to help & set up, plus the hub is here- i still feel like there are some things i just really want to get done. i am feeling slightly more relaxed about it though now that some real progress has happened in the kitchen.
another random thing is i think i want a hair cut- but i don't really know what to do with it. i have heavy bangs & my hair is getting longer - it's past the collarbone now. but the texture is changing a bit- it's getting wavy, not a nice pretty wavy with actual curl, but a random kink here & there kind of wavy. i may need to seek professional help, but i know that won't be happening before next month & then at that point do i just wait until after she's born? will my hair change again? part of me thinks i should do it now while i have time for me, but the nagging practical part says i should just wait until at least a month or 2 after she's here & pamper myself then.
we have friends coming over for dinner & tomorrow we start our childbirth classes. it's all getting very real & exciting. the hub is getting into it too, but we'll see how enthusiastic he is after tomorrow night.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
32 weeks & a letter to my girl
here i am- 32 weeks. for some reason this number sticks out to me. it's truly the home stretch. she has an excellent chance of survival now- and all she really needs to do from here on out is get nice & chubby. i am amazed, i am humbled, i am in complete disbelief at times that this little girl is real & really going to be in my arms in roughly 2 short months. 8 weeks. no time at all really.
here is the 32 week photo- technically it is 9:30 pm at 31w6d, but who's counting. doesn't she look really high up? or is it just me?:
as i lay in bed last night i found myself talking to her in my mind- i just wanted to get it down and this is the logical place for me. it's quite the sapfest- so feel free to skip the rest.
dearest caiden, my sweet & sassy little girl,
thank you for being my miracle. thank you for already making daddy & i so very happy, just knowing you are there. when i see the look on his face when he (finally!) gets to feel you kick & flutter, i fall more in love with him than i thought i would be able to- thank you for that. when he tells me he loves me because i have you in my belly- thank you for that. thank you for your cute rolls & flips- always when i need to feel you moving around after a long day.
i wonder constantly who you are, who you will be. i know this is just the start of my wonderment. i can't believe that i get to watch you grow up & discover & mold the person you will grow into. i feel like it was only yesterday that i even met your dad and here we are now- 15 years past that day & about to welcome a brand new person into the world. i am amazed at how life has turned out & so glad that you are my highlight.
and now the bad part- believe me, it's not pregnancy. or even getting here. i have had it easy. sure we needed some help to get you here, but i would do it again in a heartbeat, every second was so worth it & every dollar spent, every tear shed & every moment wondering if it would ever really happen was nothing. i look back now & see how easy it all was & would go through much much more to be here today. and pregnancy- well, i always said that i would gladly trade months of disappointments & failed cycles for morning sickness & all the pregnancy horrors. So- despite morning (ha- all day!) sickness through 18 weeks- again, i was lucky & would do it all again gladly & with much worse. you have somehow made me the cute pregnant lady who looks like she has a basketball (volleyball/beachball/whatever) stuck under a shirt. i am just starting to get slightly uncomfortable & tired, but not tired of being pregnant. i love it. i love being able to sit still for a while & feel you kick the crap out of me. i love driving to work or back, singing along with the radio & figuring out that you love to jump around to classic rock, the police, and that coldplay puts you to sleep. i love coming home & telling the hub that today was a jungle gym day as you discovered my ribs & just kept pushing them. i love trying to figure out just what exactly you are up to in there & wish there was a little window i could peak into every now & then- just to check on you. although i know i would never look away & nothing would be ready for you when you actually arrived.
the part i dread is the fear. i already have these irrational fears that horrible things will happen. when driving i think that an accident will happen & i will lose you now that we are so close. when at a building that has more than a few stories i worry that somehow i will fall & never get to meet you. then i worry about the after- what if... what if the worst happens? what if we mess up completely & don't realize you are sick? what if something happens to me or to daddy? what if something happens to you? how can i protect you from everything & still have you grow up independent & strong? how can i go back to work & leave you? how can i not? there is so much out there- so many things to worry about & i seem to be letting them all in right now. i know that your dad & i will do everything in our power to give you the best start in life, to give you the best foundation for a good life that we can. i know that everything we do truly is for you (including all the things we do to make ourselves better & happier people). i know that we already know what we don't want to do, how we don't want to be. i know that if there is love, then nothing is impossible & anything can be survived. and little girl- believe me there is love.
you are my everything, my special miracle, my joy. i love your little personality already & can't wait to learn more. but if you wouldn't mind waiting at least 7-1/2 weeks, we will have plenty of time.
all of my heart is yours- mommy
Thursday, February 5, 2009
yup- i did it again
that contest in which i pimp out my dog has multiple weeks for voting. so i found a much better picture & now maybe, just maybe- anyone who stops here can click for just a moment & vote for my little man? and win momma a new vacuum. well- the vacuum is really for daddy in all honesty- momma doesn't really do floors beyond a sweep here & there. i got stuck with the bathrooms so he can clean the floors!
thanks!!!
thanks!!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
still sick, still waiting
still no word on the refi- except that all looks good. let's hope so because i am now in nerve wracking- if this doesn't happen soon i am completely screwed territory. sleepless nights have commenced. (this may be partly due to the fact that breathing comfortably is very difficult right now in all ways.)
i still feel like shit- i sound even worse though. i finally got a hold of my docs & am on the only medication (pretty much) that i can take. i am doing much better & actually didn't take anything today & feel the same as being doped up yesterday. it was a long day at work just because i really wanted a nap. oh- i also pulled an abdominal muscle by coughing too hard. yeah... let's just say i actually was worried i ruptured something or displaced the placenta or something as far fetched & crazy as that. only for a few moments (okay- minutes) until she started moving around assuring me that mommy is just insane & needs to lay off the worry serum just a little. although i am still hacking away every now & then it's slowly getting better. i have my 32 week appointment on wednesday & if i am not better by then i know i'll be calling my primary doc.
the hub is rocking out & making me really proud & happy to call him the hub. he's been taking care of me (had dinner ready when i got home tonight & 3 nights last week!) he finished the trim in the nursery which means we only have to paint it & some shelves & we're done! (oh yeah- and get furniture & decor & stuff...) he's starting the kitchen drywall tomorrow & finishing it up this weekend so i can get painting. oh yeah- and my car now has a new engine!!!! we bought it a year ago with a blown motor & since it actually ran we just decided to run the motor completely into the ground before replacing it. it's loud, it's cranky, it gets terrible gas mileage, but it still hasn't died! this is why i love the subaru- it is a tank & it won't let me down. it's perfect for the fam car. well- especially with a new motor in it! tomorrow is the first day i am driving it in 2 months or so. the hub wanted to be the one to 'kill' the car since he only works 2 miles from the house & he's a mechanic so him getting stranded is not an issue. me, on the other hand, big issue.
we'll probably end up taking it off the road in 2 months while i'm on maternity leave. there's no need to pay for car insurance on two cars & the other car needs to have continuous coverage because he still has a payment on it. but if we can save $100-150 a month on the one car then it will help with staying out a full 10 weeks. which is what i think i will end up taking. i don't know that a full 12 weeks will be possible- especially since we have to finish the kitchen & the damn s.print fiasco had to be cleared up this month (don't get me started- too angry). and then there's a little cushion needed for purchasing anything we will need after the shower & whatever is left over from that should get put into savings rather than going towards another 2 weeks off. i can live with 10 weeks. anything less feels too short- hell- 12 weeks feels too short right now! but that's the way it'll have to be & i can live with that. as long as everything starts getting settled. soon!!!!
on that note- here is a picture i took while sick on the couch this weekend that i love to pieces. it's my dog (only the very best dog in the entire world) chase- and his new best friend- the wubba. (no clue why we picked that name to call this toy- it just seemed to fit)
i still feel like shit- i sound even worse though. i finally got a hold of my docs & am on the only medication (pretty much) that i can take. i am doing much better & actually didn't take anything today & feel the same as being doped up yesterday. it was a long day at work just because i really wanted a nap. oh- i also pulled an abdominal muscle by coughing too hard. yeah... let's just say i actually was worried i ruptured something or displaced the placenta or something as far fetched & crazy as that. only for a few moments (okay- minutes) until she started moving around assuring me that mommy is just insane & needs to lay off the worry serum just a little. although i am still hacking away every now & then it's slowly getting better. i have my 32 week appointment on wednesday & if i am not better by then i know i'll be calling my primary doc.
the hub is rocking out & making me really proud & happy to call him the hub. he's been taking care of me (had dinner ready when i got home tonight & 3 nights last week!) he finished the trim in the nursery which means we only have to paint it & some shelves & we're done! (oh yeah- and get furniture & decor & stuff...) he's starting the kitchen drywall tomorrow & finishing it up this weekend so i can get painting. oh yeah- and my car now has a new engine!!!! we bought it a year ago with a blown motor & since it actually ran we just decided to run the motor completely into the ground before replacing it. it's loud, it's cranky, it gets terrible gas mileage, but it still hasn't died! this is why i love the subaru- it is a tank & it won't let me down. it's perfect for the fam car. well- especially with a new motor in it! tomorrow is the first day i am driving it in 2 months or so. the hub wanted to be the one to 'kill' the car since he only works 2 miles from the house & he's a mechanic so him getting stranded is not an issue. me, on the other hand, big issue.
we'll probably end up taking it off the road in 2 months while i'm on maternity leave. there's no need to pay for car insurance on two cars & the other car needs to have continuous coverage because he still has a payment on it. but if we can save $100-150 a month on the one car then it will help with staying out a full 10 weeks. which is what i think i will end up taking. i don't know that a full 12 weeks will be possible- especially since we have to finish the kitchen & the damn s.print fiasco had to be cleared up this month (don't get me started- too angry). and then there's a little cushion needed for purchasing anything we will need after the shower & whatever is left over from that should get put into savings rather than going towards another 2 weeks off. i can live with 10 weeks. anything less feels too short- hell- 12 weeks feels too short right now! but that's the way it'll have to be & i can live with that. as long as everything starts getting settled. soon!!!!
on that note- here is a picture i took while sick on the couch this weekend that i love to pieces. it's my dog (only the very best dog in the entire world) chase- and his new best friend- the wubba. (no clue why we picked that name to call this toy- it just seemed to fit)
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