woo-hoo

weekend of fun. first up- a birthday party for a 7 year old. not sure if i am providing chauffeur service or staying- but yay! actually- i really like the kid. he is the coolest 7 year old i know & he idolizes my hubby.

then off to babies-r-us to roam the aisles in search of baby shower gifts from the whole crew at work. so that's an involved process with lots of time- no quick in & out for me. this is the fire-walking equivalent of TTC. can i be strong enough to be happy i am in the place that reminds me i don't have what i want most & all the people around me have it? only time will tell...

last, but certainly not least- the baby shower. a whole big group of people who most likely only know me as 'that bitch who couldn't be supportive of the wonderful mother-to-be because she can't get pregnant herself'. now- i don't think the mother-to-be thinks of me this way at all. we're solid. but i doubt she discusses me anymore with her friends who she complained to when we had our problems. i have totally admitted my faults & am dealing with them- pretty successfully if i do say so myself, but who knows if they know that. who cares- right? typically- not me - i don't have to sit with them for 2 1/2 hours, oh wait....i do.

not to mention that the follow up for this baby shower is- you guessed it- yet another baby shower. this is the one i really dread though. this where people really know me. the entire office gathered around. naturally people start guessing who is next. last baby shower- it was said that it better be me since i am the last of the 'marrieds' without kids. guess life had other plans- huh? i really don't want to hear- 'so when is it your turn jenn?' because i doubt i can hold myself back from retorting with any number of sarcastic bitter comments. let's hope i can just drink my wine & mutter something. i really want to keep my job...

i'd give almost anything to be able to say- oh about 9 months or so...