blur

the past 2 weeks have been a bit of a blur. leaving my old job was hard- but made much easier by the wonderful coworkers who really supported me in every way. then the weekend passed in a whirlwind of toddler playtime and big girl wild nights! i took pumpkin to a wonderful huge playhouse in my city's park system that was built in 1899 and has always been a playhouse & playgrounds for children. it's always been free and it was wonderful! she loved every minute of it- being able to really run free and play with other kids- well- as much as a 17 month old really plays with anyone. she was so good- when an older boy came into the 'blocks' room with her & literally yanked the lego tower out of her hand she merely walked over to the bin & fished out some more blocks and handed them to him to play with. she is very independent, but already so considerate, easy going and sweet. until mom steps in to say no... that's a completely different story.

saturday was a girlfriend's bachelorette. whew boy. i was a sloppy fucking mess. i am not a huge drinker- i do enjoy a glass (or two) of wine, or a few beers, sometimes a few times a week. but liquor? that is a thing of the past until saturday. i lost count of how much drinking happened- the last one i took was a shot (!) in a club (!) and then everything got really hot and unbearable and... let's just say i had to be escorted back to my friend's house- where i was already crashing with many others to be safe- and then the next day there was much shoe cleaning going on. yikes. you would have thought i was 21, not 31! very embarrassing, but at least i wasn't the only one who was feeling it that night. needless to say- i really didn't leave the house on sunday or monday and just relaxed and recovered.

then tuesday started the new job. which has been great- but strange. i am not used to having the luxury of time to adjust and acclimate to a new position. i am used to being thrown in & learning as i go. but all i have really been doing is meeting with people and learning & reading & looking/absorbing information rather than actually doing. which is odd for me. for 5 years i have been busy- and even when not busy- i have never not had a task to do. i know i will get there and i will soon be wishing for these easy early days- but it's an adjustment. maybe a lesson in slowing down too. because the commute. good lord- i made it into work this morning in less than 20 minutes. i slept in until after 7! holy crap- the luxury is astounding. i can go home for lunch. i am trying to establish a good time frame too- work my 8 hours and go home. it's too easy to fall into the 9-10 hour workday. especially when i am so close to the office. i am a bit of a workhorse- so i don't mind it- but i do hate not seeing my babes until it's time for bed. i've been home for dinner & still have time for playing outside this week. as well as energy to do it.

the people are very nice so far- i am sure personalities will come out & the quirks will shine through- but i get along very well with my new boss who is who i will be working with the most one on one. so that's good. he reminds me of my dad in a way- which so far means a nice easy working relationship where i get his quirky jokes and off beat sense of humor. i hope that lasts too.

we are looking into daycare for pumpkin- maybe next month after we've had some time to sort out some lingering financials and really understand our new monthly budget. i know she will like it- she loves to spend time with other kids and generally is a very easy, happy little girl. plus i think having that structure will be really good for her. i worry (as i am sure every parent does) that we aren't doing enough for her here at home. she still only uses 'mamama' for something she wants and sporadically says 'mom' correctly to mean me. dad is a constant and frequent sound. it makes sense since he's home, but i still get concerned. her vocabulary is exploding- at least to me. i hear many different words: hair, nose, dog, kitty, yuck, diaper, dirty, belly, banana, bottle. but to anyone else you might only get: nana, baba, and eye clearly. i know it's all completely normal- but as mothers we only want the best. and as if'ers i think there is a constant close watch over our children. oddly enough- i am much less uptight about her when it comes to exploring the physical world. she shows such confidence that she walks on her own- she pretty much does stairs up on her own and when she tumbles (even from the first step up) i am not overly concerned. granted- if she fell on her head that would be different- but she typically falls on her butt first. and i am not freaked out about it anymore. i still don't like her playing standing on the couch- or on her own somewhere high up (obviously) but the dangers of casual spills have ceased to put the tight tense knot in my stomach. which- at nearly a year & a half is about freaking time.

this weekend is a big block party- which should be a ton of fun- but also quite the dangerous time for toddlers. they close the street & all the kids play in it. great if you are 10 or even 5 ad can understand when it's ok to be in the street. not so good when a time out is still wasted on you because no was just grasped and you don't like it. it will be a fun day- but exhausting for me. because of course the hub has work to do so i am on my own with the toddler wrangling.

i've also been trying to get back into knitting when she goes to bed. i finished my very first real piece of clothing. i'd made hats and scarves, baby blankets, booties and even a throw for my bed, but i completed a decent baby sweater. and now i am attempting a real sweater for me. so far it looks pretty good- but i'm only about halfway done with the pattern pieces. i think another week and it should hopefully be done. if it's any good i'll take a photo!

speaking of photos- here's a few from friday (none from saturday will ever be made public!)