thanks give

the pumpkin has started 'school'. part time daycare 3 days a week, a few hours a day to be precise. there were one or two rough drop-offs so far, but in reality nothing more than an extra cling, a tear or two and one pitiful little cry of 'mo-om' that flat out broke my heart. of course- by the time i made it to the door of the daycare she had already gotten into playing or something and all was quiet. she had her first piece of artwork in her cubby which i now look at in my office every day. yes- it's scribbles on an outline with some stickers- but to me it might as well be a picasso! now she wakes up and after a little crankiness at being woken up earlier than she wants (i swear this kid is the best sleeper & i am grateful every single day. i know this probably won't happen again!) she is taking about school and looking for her 'mo' - elmo backpack. she ~has~ to carry her things herself- which are of course almost as big as she is. it is an awesome time and i am thrilled and overwhelmed and excited and yes- often frustrated. the independent streak is wonderful to see and i know it is crucial and so important- but when i am running late to drop her off so i can get to work (still the only breadwinner in the family) the insistence on carrying her backpack and lunch box while walking 3 inches per minute gets old quick. thankfully she gets these great grins and says such random things that my patience finds its way back to me!

she also has learned to tickle and fist bump- both from me & the hubs. we watch jeopardy as our nightly tv & when one of us gets an answer right we fist bump- and yes- we are both proud card carrying dorks! passing it on down the family line she now does it too! she dances and 'helps' with nearly everything. i know this is all mundane and normal and every parent feels this amazement and wonder at their children's growth, but i still can't believe she's really here on random occasions. the surprise and miracle of our little lives. i know i will never shake this feeling and i am honestly glad of it. when i find myself at the end of my rope, when the 19th tantrum over not having this particular toy or snack has happened, it is made somewhat easier through remembering the feeling of dread and fear that we would never know her.

her very first craft at school was a little pilgrim hat for the holiday- with the words thanks. and give. in glitter on it- although i think it was meant as 'give thanks' i seem to prefer the other way 'round. the yoda-zen of thanks. give. give more of yourself. thank the universe for all you do have. for all the surprises, for all the hard won prizes, for new jobs, new life and a happy healthy family & home- thanks.