nerves

well- the short version is as the days count down and we get more news there is every possibility that the hub will be 16 hours away at a funeral (with our reliable go-to childcare provider) while i go into labor. these are all the worst case scenarios. and then after that the worst case is that his mother moves in with us- completely broke- and sleeps on our couch until we can either set up the basement ourselves (with absolutely no money after funding my painfully short maternity leave) or get her into some apartment somewhere. life has the potential to get very shitty very quickly these days. i went from hoping i don't deliver until after a fabulous wedding to go to next month- to hoping my father-in-law lives to at least see his grandson.