i have decided to quit bitching- at least for now. i just had a conversation with one of Tom's friends, a Vietnam vet who is slowly dying. it gives you some perspective. yes- it sucks to go through months of disappointment, but i'll live. i will have children & see them grow old. shit happens that we can't foresee, but i believe that i will have a long & happy life. a surefire way to ~not~ fulfill this self-foreseen destiny is to get caught up in the drama of pity & loose sight of what is beautiful about my life. i have gone through some shitty times in my life (i continue to go through them & i will go through shit in the future) that will not change & it is true for everyone.
but perspective is a wonderful thing. you can change your life by changing your mind. my life is fantastic. i love my family& my home. my husband is the greatest person i know and he can be strong for me when i can not. my dog is awesome. i actually really enjoy my job and i am really good at it. i was hit with a major medical left hook that i was able to quickly diagnose, deal with & recover from. i love my friends and enjoy every moment i spend with them. i have had the amazing good fortune to meet a wonderful and varied group of women that i can lean on for anything i might go through in my life. i am continually inspired by the strength & hope these friends have despite the struggles they face.
life can suck. i will never deny that. but the beautiful part of being human is that we have emotions and that we can share them. everyone has pain in life, but we can all also have joy. i would like to focus on the joy a little more. it will be hard- but hopefully if i can take a break from the pity party every now & then i can live my life now instead of waiting for 1 event to start it.
3 comments:
can you give me some of your positivity? please?
I lose it myself sometimes. I was an 'eternal optimist' until last year. It is a daily struggle to find it again, but if I find the secret stash I will draw you a map!
I know what you mean about getting perspective. Last year, my DH's cousin had a seizure when she was 7 months pregnant. It turned out to be an aggressive cancerous brain tumor. She had surgery and several rounds of chemo and faces several more. So far doctor's have been amazed by her recovery, but her son is 1 years old and she doesn't know how long she'll be with him.
When I need some perspective, I try to think about that. It is pretty easy to slip back into self-pity mode though. And although they're sad things, I guess things like this help knock us out of it.
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