i am looking forward to moments this summer. the moment when i get my next 3 day weekend. when we go to visit the in-laws (who'd have thunk i'd be looking forward to that- a 5 hour drive!). the moment when a great old friend comes to stay. the moment when a great new friend comes to stay. the moment when we go down to visit my folks - another 6-7 hours possible in the car. attempting to forget the mind numbing depression of realizing you are literally a step away from deciding between electric and food. between gas & the internet. operating without a net for over a year is fucking scary and i can not live in the now. it's just too much. so i look forward to the time when things are better.
and then the jolt when i realize that now is still here and will be for quite some time. i used to take comfort in the fact that at least we are not alone- nearly everyone i know is in this boat too. but reaching out a hand just to find it is grabbed by someone else looking for a way up leaving you floundering again. desperate to just stay where you are because one more rock and you are going over the edge of this boat and there's no life raft waiting.
1 comment:
I can relate, really. I know how lucky we are to find ourselves with a little bit of extra room, finance-wise, right now. But I also know how perilously close we are to being in the red every month. Part of that is our fault for not managing money better, but only a very small part. Mostly, it's due to the shitty year we had last year and still catching up from that. I'd like to say that I know it will get better, but truthfully, in a week or so, it's about to get a whole lot worse (yet life in general will get smashingly better in so many ways as well). Luckily, while babies are expensive, part of the reason we are stretched right now is that we overspent on baby crap, so hopefully, that will ease a bit of the burden in the coming months. We'll see...
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I at least sort of understand, and that yes, it puts things in perspective-- you have to force yourself to focus on the good things that aren't based on a tight budget, like spending time with family and friends. Here's hoping some time with great people helps to mentally ease some of the financial strain...
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