bad things come in threes

it has not been a good week for my family. the week started out fine for me until wednesday. nothing super bad, but i had my salary review. which wasn't great. nothing was said about my performance, just a lot of "the economy" blah, blah, blah. so my raise was half of last years. now last year they said that they wanted to give me more money, but didn't feel they had seen enough from me yet. which of course they hadn't because i had been dealing with an exploding kidney & 2 surgeries for most of the year. then i heard a comment that made me think a friend had thrown me under the bus for something without coming to me first. it turns out that it was all just miscommunication, and honestly just a mistaken notion that somehow made it in to my boss's head, but for a good couple hours i thought one of my favorite people at my firm just wasn't a friend anymore. which sucked.

then my sister calls me. she didn't get her part time position which she wanted in order to keep working although per doctors orders she really shouldn't have a job at all. so she made the hard decision to quit if she didn't get this part time position & they now think she is being a whiny brat & quitting only because she was 'passed over'! she has been trying to get them to understand that she has a serious medical problem & needs some sort of accomodation for nearly a year, and now when she is finally at the point that her doctor has to tell her to quit they say she is a valuable member of the team & shouldn't make rash decisions. where was this concern when they made a sick girl work 10 hour days after she requested 6-7 hours max? when they dumped three peoples work on her because they could? it really pisses me off, but i know she is doing what she has to do to hopefully get her health in order. it would be great to have my sister back again...

after being in this state of mind i started crying, just one or two tears, at my desk. as i reached my hand up to wipe them off & get a grip i realized that my hand smelled like baby from my friend that came in with hers. the same friend that i really wanted to be pregnant with since she found out right as we started trying. just that one whiff of perfect baby smell put me over. i can't wait until that becomes part of my everyday, but i have no idea if/when that will happen. nothing i haven't felt before & gotten over, but not fun to feel either.

then i think that i actually finally o'ed a little closer to a 'normal' time frame, around cd15, but because i am still adjusting to having a roommate & getting back into a schedule after camping, my temperature today took it away! so who knows when i actually did. either way i don't have any hope for this month either. i just think it's really not going to happen before i turn 28. no particular reason, i just think that i will have my birthday before those 2 little lines.


then my dad calls me to let me know that he has been laid off. for the fourth time ever. he's okay, but he has to start over again at 55. suck.

what a shitty week. hopefully this means that we all get really great news soon.