at least there will be wine

two distinct negatives, yesterday & today. while i tend to thin that nancy may be right about my O date being 2 days later than what ff shows- i would still be12 dpo today. with a teeny temp drop. so- pretty standard.

i am much better today than i was yesterday. i still feel like i should be seeing a positive though. i am hot. and i am never hot. my boobs hurts so bad i wish i didn't have them. i feel full & bloated & slightly crampy.

but all this really means is that i have tons of progesterone in my system, which i have always pretty much known to be the case in my LP. or, just maybe, the acupuncture may be staring to work already after only 2 sessions. i have my third one today & i am bringing my charts for her to look at. i can see a big difference, but of course i was really hoping it was from a little bean. but maybe i just need to be a little more patient. after all- i only started the acupuncture right around ovulation- she wants to work on my follicular phase to get me to O better & quicker. basically- natural clomid (i guess...)

i definitely won't be able to afford the clomid challenge this month, so sticking with the acupuncture works for me. we had to put my car on the road & going to bring my sisters car back has wiped us out financially right now. the sales job didn't pan out so well for the hub (he was doing great, but the company was apparently pretty shady as he found out) so he's back to being a courier. which is fine, but there's a transitional period of adjustment where if you have no money saved it's very hard to scrape up an extra thousand for baby making. so clomid is definitely off the table right now. my RE's going to forget what i look like, but i keep having this nagging thought that just one of these times i'm going to be able to call up & say 'screw the day one doc, i'm pregnant already. you're not getting that grand from me' -ah, fantasy.

my friend will be here around noon, i have acupuncture at 10:30 and i cleaned most of the house last night. i just need to make a quick dog bed cover for my little man to keep him off the couch & i am set.

maybe my future child knew i would be needed this month for wine drinking & ex-husband bashing and decided to wait until next month to show up... again- fantasy sure is fun right now.

*update after acupuncture- so she looked at my charts & said that my temps are certainly up where they should be, but previous charts don't show the strongest O. but then she went on to say- you didn't try this month, did you? when i answered yes she said that i might just be pregnant this month. i informed her of said negatives & she said it might just be too early. so she took it easy on the invigorating points. she did get one in my foot that i literally felt what seemed to be a jolt of electricity as she put the needle in. it was gone in a second, but that really surprised me. she also got a new spoy on my belly and i swear the needle was all the way in.
i now definitely have cramps, so i do think she's wrong about it just being early, but it's just wait & see now- i'm out of tests & i won't buy another until i know i am truly late on sunday. my friend is about 20 minutes or so away so i will be back if there's big news, but otherwise i am immersing myself in vacation & f*ck the cycle mode.