T-2 days- I think

Thank you everyone for the very nice & comforting words on the post below. yes- i do know that she didn't get my baby, or diminish the pool any, but it is the first thought i had- that because she got pregnant (while NOT trying & probably on the pill or something & certainly not married or even planning on it as far as i know....) somehow that means that i won't. which i know is utterly ridiculous- but it is a common feeling. i only indulged it for the afternoon. yesterday i was fighting my way back to my almost zen-like approach to this iui.
it's ironic because just monday afternoon i was commenting to my acupuncturist how calm & relaxed i was with the whole process. it feels surreal-like it's happening to someone else. i am almost completely removed from the process. literally- i just need to show up & someone else is going to work on getting me pregnant. i have already done everything i can (except for one last romp tonight with the hub & perhaps one after the iui) other than that- it's out of my hands. the outcome of this cycle isn't giving me any anxiety- i simply don't believe i am actually doing an iui. someone else is & it really doesn't affect me. i'm sure this very relaxed (hee hee) approach will all change once hit 2ww hell. but maybe not.
the worst part about hearing the news of the hubs friend was seeing his reaction honestly. i'm not all that close with the girlfriend, sure we hang out when we see them- but i wouldn't expect to call her up or go to her shower. they lived on the other side of the country & even though they are moving back to this coast- i still don't expect to see them too often. but this is the hub's first experience with a fertile couple while we are infertile. he never thought of us as infertile until the past few months. and i think it's hit him hard. he couldn't sleep & is now gung-ho on selling every useless item in our house & getting everything done that he can to "get me pregnant" or "get us babies" (he's so sweet, but not so eloquent!), including looking for a better job. it would be very sweet if it didn't also break my heart.

either way- i go in tomorrow morning for what i think is my final scan & b/w before trigger & iui. i think i feel my right ovary. which is really fucking weird. it's like little pulsing sensations. i felt one or two twinges on the left, but righty is much stronger. i swear that i will be right at the point of trigger tomorrow & they will do it there. that means that in two days time- i will be as close to actually getting pregnant as i have ever been- at least in the medical assistance & money spent aspects. if only that's enough.
until then- i am trying to remain/regain my calm peacefulness. and hopefully this will all be worth it very very soon. because i don't really want to think about the alternative of having to put this on hold (art that is- we would never really stop trying)