well- i finally heard about my maternity leave yesterday. let's just say i feel a little sucker punched. even including 2 weeks of my vacation, i have 6 weeks. only 5 really paid. now- i do understand that i am not required to have any paid leave. but i did think that s.t. disab. (i can not write that as initials, lol!) would cover part & then i would just need to figure out maybe 3 or 4 weeks of it. taking the full twelve. now i am looking at 7 weeks unpaid and i just can't afford that. knowing- or at least seeing- that every other woman in the office was able to take pretty much a full 12 weeks, i absolutely 100% can not live with myself for going back to work after 6 weeks. she will just be too young- hell, most day cares in my area don't even take infants younger than 12 weeks! besides- that is barely enough time to establish breastfeeding well- hopefully- and it certainly doesn't feel like enough time to then add in a few bottle feedings & pumping sessions throughout the day. i know at least the first week and possibly the second is just gone to hospital, visits from friends & family, and just getting used to having given birth, much less getting used to parenting! that would leave me a single month to get everything in order to get her started in daycare and get me back to work. i wouldn't even have my post-partum appointment until i was back at work! how can i be cleared for a 10 hour day, but not for sex?
the only thing i can do is wait & see now. maybe the s.t. does cover something (but i can't count on it). maybe the economy will pick up & i can miraculously work something else out just in time (this one's hysterical!). maybe (most likely) my refi will actually happen the way it looks on paper & i will be able to squeeze the 'extra' income into another month off. i crunched some numbers last night & as long as we don't have to buy anything big for the baby, we might just be able to do it. but there are a lot of 'mights' in this equation. i really want to be able to be home with her for as long as possible. but why does it always feel like we are starting off at the bottom of a huge hill? it feels like if something can be stacked against us- it will. sure- i will tackle it & figure it out & find a way- my little girl's life is too important & i know in my heart that i would hate & resent myself for not figuring out a way to get as much time as possible to start her life off the right way.
this does of course mean that i am not giving a date that i am leaving. i will work until my water breaks, i get contractions, or the doctor tells me not to. i can't afford to waste even a few days at home waiting around. they are just too precious & short & hard earned.
yesterday was pretty hard. if i had been expecting to hear only 6 weeks it would have been much easier. but i was honestly expecting to hear that 6 weeks was covered, then i could use my vacation for 2, and then what could we figure out for the rest- best case they would pay for 2 & i would take 2 unpaid. that would have been ideal & not undoable (especially since they generously offered to pay for 3) that was honestly what i expected & perhaps it was naive of me to think my little company (less than 50 employees) would automatically have the coverage needed for that scenario. i was even prepared to come back at 10 weeks if they couldn't pay me anything. but i certainly wasn't expecting that we get nothing at all from s.t. i have always thought that was what it's there for. everything i have heard & read about it reinforced this. not having a written policy to look at just made assumptions turn to fact in my mind & yesterday i felt... well- i felt so cheated. knowing that yes- the economy does really suck right now- i know it's not my bosses fault. but i should have known long before this not to count on coverage we don't have. that way i could have planned better. we could have tried this refi sooner and been able to buy more stuff we need for her. i may not have a crib when she's born. or be able to afford one before i go back to work. i certainly won't have a pack & play, or bouncer, or swing, or wipes warmer, or any of those little things unless i get generous gifts. i am of course getting way ahead of myself, but if i prepare myself for the worst- i am much better at handling it when it comes. which is why i was so ill-prepared for yesterday!
i will hopefully know about the refi by next week. then i can let them know how much more unpaid time i am taking. i wish it could be the full 12, but i may be lucky to be able to get to 10.
8 comments:
I am so sorry to hear this. It hits home this week since I started back on Monday and haven't been in for my 6 week yet either. But I work a short day and have grandparents and a husband with a flex schedule. We are fortunate that day care is not needed.
What about finding a friend, perhaps another mom, that stays at home to provide care? I know it is not ideal, but it might help to know she is getting more one on one care?
As for nursing, your supply should be fine by then. In fact, if you plan to BF and use a bottle with expressed milk it is recommended you start intriducing the bottle about 4-6 weeks. My uy has been taking it with no problems - no nipple confusion, etc.
god luck working this out.
xo
m
That sucks Jen. Our STD only covered about 2 weeks of my leave at 60%, but luckily I knew this years in advance and had saved up over 400 hours of vacation. Because I hear you on the whole needing an income thing. I definitely was not ready to leave Jillian at 6 weeks. It would have been doable around 8 weeks for me, but I'm so glad I had the extra time. I hope the refi comes through with the money you need.
Our work allows FMLA "IF" we have 50+ employees - we have a whoppin 17 employees -so I have to come back to work after 6 weeks. But I've know'n this for years, it would suck to just be finding out this stuff, I'd feel sucker punched too.
If I dont take one single more day off work - I'll have about 5 weeks paid (we get maternity but not paid maternity - just our job held for us) and come back with NOTHING.
so I'm thinking of using 3 weeks paid, and 3 weeks not paid and have some vacation and sick for when I come back.
Going back to work is going to be the hardest thing in the world after having our new babies =*(
sorry it doesn't seem to be working out the way you've been hoping. S.T should cover something. That's really weird. But I'm sure things will work out. I know it's just stressful when you're trying to plan it out
Oh, I am so like you in some ways! I just ranted myself about the fact that my mom doesn't fulfill her end of bargains, and it makes me so mad! It's one of my biggest pet peeves- having promises made that aren't kept- and the root of that issue is that I HATE to be unprepared for things. I hate feeling disappointed.
In my head, I often try to set myself up for the lowest possible level of expectations being met, and yet I still end up feeling like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me when even the baseline isn't met.
Gosh. It just sucks. I am sorry that it will be a struggle for you to spend those first 12 weeks with your little girl, and I know how hard it will be for you if for some reason it doesn't work out. I just so feel for you.
Ugh hun....I struggled a lot with this so I know how you feel. Although, refresh my memory...how come everyone else in your work got 12 paid weeks and you don't?
If I had S.T.D with my company they would have paid for 6 weeks at 60% of my pay, which is the norm I believe. However, that would have kicked in 30 days after delivery so I would have to "pay" for the first 4 weeks with my PTO.
Good luck in working everything out hun. I know you will figure something out....it's worth it ;-)
Katie- I don't know what the deal was with everyone else- Ijust know that they were all off for the full 12. They could have had to do the same thing I am looking at.
Same here. Short Term Dis is only 6 weeks, but the first week must be taken as sick. And then the next 6 under FMLA are paid of unpaid, using my vacation, etc. I'll be taking 4 weeks unpaid (leaving some vacation for rest of year) which I need to call my dude at benefits handling my case about that. Ugh. I'll have to pay out my healthcare myself during my unpaid leave too. How's that for kicking me when down?
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