my weekend was a rollercoaster. first there was the excitement (and bittersweet emotions for me) of my friend having her first baby. Then i went to the beach with a friend. about an hour before leaving- AF finally arrived. i knew she would- but now i also know that listening to my husband on the let's take things as they come approach was not good at all. we missed it. even if i had a perfect 14 day lp- which i am pretty sure i do not- i would have had only the day before. since i am pretty sure that my lp is 13 days- that means i had sex 2 days before. hubby & i got busy then tired & no sex for almost 2 weeks after that! so out comes the thermometer & the opk's this month. i am just really getting tired of the endless heartbreak. it's starting to get too hopeless. i really want to see that second line, but every month that passes without one makes me start to doubt even more that it will ever happen.
the beach was great- relaxing & fun. the first cycle in a while that i didn't cry once on day1. the downside- i was an idiot about the sunscreen & got burnt. badly. i am a peppermint stick- all red & white. and it hurts.
then yesterday Tom was weedwacking & found a littel baby bird on our yard. i put it in a little box outside with some water & fed it with a dropper. i didn't want it to get eaten overnight so i brought it in the house in the spare bedroom. when i got up this morning i got the little dropper to feed it again- went in the room & found a stiff little bird. i feel horrible- what if i killed it? what if by taking it in the house or by feeding it or by not feeding it overnight i caused it's death??!! i hate this. i know it happens in nature every day- but i was supposed to be helping an innocent helpless little creature. what a way to start the week...
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