before i realize what's happening i am peeing on the last early response ept i had- of course it's a negative. i still have to wait two more days to be sure- that last 16% chance could always happen for me. oh- who am i kidding.
at least i am somewhat more prepared- it wasn't as bad- only 20 minutes initial sadness with maybe a minute of real sobbing followed by brief teary-eyed moments for the next 2 hours. all in all- could have been worse.
oh- and Tom actually wants to go to the doctor & get an s/a now- go figure. something could be found- or hopefully not. i guess there is always a bright side- no matter how little, scary, or strange it may be.
4 comments:
Well damn it.
I already responded elsewhere for you, so I won't repeat myself, but I did want to say something about the s/a. GOOD for him. It drives me CRAZY when men won't do this. So many men just think that we should do it all. And we do it all too much. Hopefully nothing in the s/a will be found and you'll still have great chances!
You are still in the "normal" range so have no fear yet. And we'll be here to support you until you do get that BFP which I just know you'll get. I betcha you will never have to have the stigma of being declared an "IFer" because it won't take more than 12 cycles. I'd put a big chunk of my money down on that bet.
♥
thanks Nancy- I was actually very surprised when he said it- I remember when we first started trying there was a scrubs episode on where one of the characters had to get a s/a & Tom claimed he could never do that- what a change 9 months makes- huh? I am very proud of him for it- even if I am waiting the full year to start testing...
I don't think there is anything wrong with you waiting your full year. I actually think too many people jump the gun on the whole testing thing. I think it brings a whole new level of stress to TTC, something that is so hard to begin with, you know?
The downside is what if there was something 'wrong' that is fixable? It would probably piss me off that I waited, but it'll all be worth it in the end. (triggers to follow here - I don't want to be rude with feelings ....)
After I had Ella, I was HAPPY it took my 18 months. And not because I got to appreciate the aspect of getting pregnant more than a newbie, even though that is true. But if I had gotten pregnant earlier, I wouldn't of had HER. I'd of had another child. Sure, I'd of loved that child just as much and I wouldn't of even known of Ella, but damn, thinking of my life without exactly HER, well ... I can't explain it.
So the whole "it happens when it should happen" is kind of true. And I use that very loosely, cause you know I'm not hip on the whole "its just not right yet".
I'm not making sense, am I?
you just brought tears to my eyes- in a good way.
thank you from the bottom of my bruised, but eternally hopefull (dammit) heart. i think you just said exactly what i needed to hear today. i've always known it will be worth it in the end, but i get to look foward to meeting who my Ella is.
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