you know when you are in school you are given random miscellaneous stuff to do that really serves no purpose other than to keep you occupied & quiet- well that's what i think my life is right now. i'm trying to find some busy work to keep my thoughts of ttc & babies suppressed.
babysitting was awesome on saturday- the 3 kids were so well behaved- not a single whine from any of them, including the 19 month old with a broken arm. can i just tell you how cute a little tiny girl with blonde bangs & a big old cast is! she was also sleeping in her toddler bed for the first time & i was warned that she had no nap & might pitch a fit & to just close the door & let her cry, that she would probably fall asleep on the floor. well- i said let's go get ready for bed & she went to the stairs & waited for me to follow her up. right into her room, change the diaper & finally found some pj's that fit over the cast & she crawled into her bed on her own!
the other 2 are older & the cutest little chatterboxes. we played princess monopo.ly until after 9 & then it was up to sleep on their parents bed. i was wiped out after 5 hours of playing games & hearing all about their recent trip to a magical kingdom- and they are wonderful kids. three is a lot on your own. but it was fun & i didn't have my usual pity party afterwards, which i am very happy about.
this week should be fairly busy, which is good. i think it's the week i ovulate- but i'm not doing anything at all to confirm it. all my hope has been stripped away, not just for this cycle, but even after testing starts- so i figure what's the point. i might as well enjoy not knowing since it really doesn't make a difference right now. maybe by occupying myself with life i can make mine less about the dissappointments of ttc & having everything come crashing down around me. while i don't think i can ever stop wanting to have a baby & start a family, maybe i can push it to just outside the focal point.
4 comments:
I know what you mean.. Some time it is nice to just step back and take a look at life around you. It really does give you a sense of geniunely good feelings at times. I hope that you are able to find something else during hte holiday season to focus on until you feel the right time to start back at it. sending you happy thoughts
I can relate to you on the trying to keep occupied front. I'm busy trying to make the holidays special kids or no kids. Oh and I'm knitting up a storm! I hope you are able to do the same and that it helps you remember how wonderful your life already is.
I know what you mean about trying to focus on other stuff. It was so nice last cycle not temping except to confirm O. The only problem is that I keep forgetting to temp now! But I've still got a week or so before I O so I'm not too worried.
Enjoy living your life in the here and now. I think that's what a lot of us IFers forget to do. We are so concerned with planning for our next cycle and the next round of meds, etc that we forget to enjoy what we do have in our lives and live in the moment. wow, I got a bit long-winded, oops!
Yep... AF is due tomorrow or the next day, and I'm just SO not even thinking about it AT ALL. I will not test, ever, ever, ever-- well, unless a week goes by with no sign of the period, but that's so not gonna happen... So, instead, in the mean time, I distract myself with horrible, horrible pop music (check the Cheesetastic entry on my blog to see for yourself!)
I'm glad you're keeping yourself distracted as well- great minds think alike, right?
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