not too much to talk about today. my temps are still relatively high, but i really can't judge anything by 11dpo temps. i usually have a little drop either 12 or 13 dpo. without fail i test at 12 dpo & then the next day i get my period. i don't want to go through that again, so i am waiting until thursday to consider testing. of course if my temp goes down, then i won't bother.
but... you know a but is coming- i have an unnatural amount of hope for this cycle. i say unnatural because i have kept hope at bay for so long that now i feel like the door has been flung open. i can't stop bitching about my boobs. they hurt. they feel slightly less sore in the morning, but by night i feel like they've been used as a punching bag. they hurt to the touch. they hurt just sitting there doing nothing. this is the cruelest trick of af. (& hope- i haven't forgotten that wench) on the one hand- my boobs are always sore a few days before my period. on the other- they start to feel better at this point. i would say 7 or 8 dpo to 11 dpo i have mildy sore boobs. i have found myself squeezing them in the past to see if they still hurt. then of course wondering if they only hurt because i've been obsessively squeezing. now i am trying not to touch them.
okay- enough about my tatas. i think that's really my only 'symptom'. i feel a little bloated & full. i was so exhausted last night that i passed out on the couch for almost 2 hours after work. i wouldn't think anything at all of this because i've had a long week-month-year, but i don't nap. ever. i try & i can't. i only ever lay down & relax, but i usually can't let go enough to just fall asleep. i was also slightly nauseous this morning when getting up- but that could be due to my dentist appointment nerves. i don't like to put much stock into symptoms, but something is telling me that this really could be 'it'. i keep trying to reign her in- but that miss hope is quite the stubborn bitch. she is refusing to leave. so i have one more day to hold her off- even if it's just a little. if thursday comes with high temps & no period in sight- i'll test & hope (ack!) for the best. and the silver lining is that if it's a negative i can enjoy some wine with friends on thursday night & call the doc for the referral too. i would feel silly calling right now & then calling for a blood test on friday. (okay- that was hope talking...silly girl)
i promise to have something interesting to say the next time i write. i just needed to purge these evil thoughts of hope.
9 comments:
The dollar store sells pregnancy tests which is just in my price range. Sending those good vibes your way!!
I already bought the 3 pack at Target! I've been eyeing them up every day since saturday- which is ridiculous of me.
Oh good luck! Everything and more is crossed for you!!
Can't wait until tomorrow ;-) And ya know, it's funny, I can't remember the last time I had really sore bbs...silly huh?
Ah, Hope, that wanton whore. I do have to say that the extended and especially sore boobs sounds promising. I still feel that twinge of hope when I get the sore boobs, but apparently, over the last 3 months, the ridiculously sore boobs have become a part of the standard lineup of PMS symptoms, which, I mean, REALLY. Come on! I get to deal with infertility AND I get to deal with a ton of increasingly confusing symptoms... Gah. Fuck that!
Anyhow, yes... am keeping everything crossed for you and wishing for the best.
I hate the symptom obsession. Because as I try to remind myself if you have symptoms you can get a +HPT. Not that that helps any.
Good luck tomorrow! Maybe we'll both get 2 lines.
Good luck with that three pack! When are you planning to break down and give in?
I would say call the RE now! I made my appointment, had to wait for it, then got knocked up. It was silly to go there pregnant. I even heard one of the nurses say, "She doens't need to be here." Reverse psychology for the superstitious:) But I have an evil ute that destroys embryos anyhow. So pregnancies, in the past, have been futile endevours. Here to hoping she's been reformed.
Good luck waiting it out. You are stronger than I am with the test. Although I have to say I have been able to get BFP's as early as 10dpo with morning pee.
Hey, I was looking in the Metro today and I saw the there is going to be Philly Beer Week. There's a website: www.phillybeerweek.org. There's also going to be a craft beer fest at the Navy Ship Yard (ummm, all you can drink beer). If I'm not pregnant that is.
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