a word to the wise- when surprising your husband with New Year's day mimosa's (made better with organic peach mango juice instead of oj) please make sure that he is not working on the house while drinking them.
one of our beautiful red swirled champagne glasses now lies in pieces in our garbage can. but the living room floor looks pretty damn good because we found out the hard way that champagne will bleach out the dark spots the previous owners left.
our new year's eve was pretty uneventful. my parents stopped by on their trip home to richmond after visiting in nj this weekend. it was a very nice visit & they spoiled us, as usual. i wanted them to stay, but they wanted to go home & sleep in their own bed. they called at 12:11 to wish us a happy new year & they were 10 minutes from home. which kind of sucks- i've been in the car for the ball drop & i've hated it. new year's is another huge holiday for me. i love the fireworks, i love sending the year off, i love looking forward to what the next year will bring. that's why this year is such a letdown for me. the magic that this season has always held for me is gone. i was the person that ran out of whatever place i was at to scream 'happy new year!' from the top of my lungs. i'll get the noisemakers & the hats. i throw the confetti. but this year the hub & i cuddled in bed & watched the fireworks, listening to all the neighborhood banging their pots & letting off the air horns.
and i really can't imagine another way i could have spent the eve. all our friends were either out of town, or unavailable. our families are far far away (or on the road). and we don't have any money to waste on going out downtown. 2007 kicked our asses & we welcomed 2008 with a whimper. a plea to please be kind. since 2006 was pretty rough & 2007 was downright fucking mean, i can only beg for 2008 to at least let us be. if i can find a glimmer of my old self, maybe, just maybe, i can believe in the magic again. maybe i can let hope return. maybe i can let 2008 be what it is & just be happy about whatever that might be.
so here's to 2008. may she not kick us while we're down. may we all get lifted up to where we want to be.
*mere moments before hitting publish i got a phone call from an old friend of the hub & i. he & his girlfriend live in cali, but he is from our hometown in ny & she is from here. so every new years for the past 3 years they've spent with us. they are a little late this year & are coming into town today. they'll be making our place their first stop on the east coast. but their visit has stirred up a lot of mixed feelings with me.
they were the very first people tom told that we were trying. i had told my friend (pregnant at the time coworker) & due to that experience i didn't want to tell a single soul after that. but during new year's eve '06 tom told them we were trying. 5 months later they were in town again & we met up for lunch with them & her pregnant (with a 8 month old already) SIL. who told me that we should just borrow her husbands 'super sperm' after our friends had asked how everything was going. um- yeah. that really sucked.
but we were still fresh in the trying period & hope was all around me. i could take it. now i can't. i am having a hard time prepping myself for their inevitable 'how's the whole kid thing going' questions. while i love them dearly- i really don't want to cry today. it's ruining my whole attempt at a new outlook. the hub says we should just tell them it's on hold until the whole shop thing is cleared up & the house is done. as much as i tend to want to say that- i don't want to lie or hide our fears.
it's too much a part of me at this point. and it feels wrong. we are having trouble conceiving. we are possibly infertile. or at least definitely subfertile. there is a problem somewhere. we are moving on to a specialist to hopefully find out what the problem is & fix it. and hopefully our greatest dream will come true before we have to say goodbye to 2008. hopefully the next time we see our friends it will be with an extra heartbeat that we welcome them.
4 comments:
Oh yes, the friends getting pregnant. It's been a big issue for me since my two best friends have both had 2 children during this time. They don't truly understand although they try.
Sorry, your New Years wasn't the way you prefer to spend it. It was different for us too because we had to seek out friends who don't have children yet.
And yes, my husband was born w/2 undescended testicles and 1 kidney. He had them pulled down when he was 9 (!!!!), one was deformed (?), and the other just isn't producing any guys. When we went to the fertility dr he told us there is a link between the kindey and the manly juice. Huh, we never knew.
We rang in the new year pretty much exactly like y'all did. We got some nice food for dinner, ate, drank a few glasses of champagne and watched some tv. About 11:00, I told H I was tired, and he thought that we should just go to bed. And so we did. We watched a sadly old Dick Clark narrate the ball drop and then went to sleep. We told ourselves that our general plan was to have dinner at home and then reassess the going-out possibilities, which we did. But it was cold, and nothing that was going on was even remotely exciting enough for us to brave the weather and the crazy drunks.
And, yes, like you, I'm generally the one hanging from the rafters, throwing streamers, screaming, "Happy New Year!" and kissing everyone in the room. But the old friends all live far away, and the new ones who do live here are all out of town. So. New Year's Rockin' Eve half asleep with my husband. Awesome.
My new years eve was equally lame. Jeramy had to work at 6am New Years Day, so we were in bed by 10pm!
Sorry that your friend visiting is stirring things up. I hope it all works out okay.
I just spent my New Years Eve crawling out of my skin. We were at a party and I couldn't get out of there and home fast enough after the ball dropped. I would have loved to spend new years cuddling with Reed in bed. Or cuddled with some lortab and a hot pad, either one would be fine at this point.
Post a Comment