misconception

i thought i would be far less busy without a job! after our vaca we had a few days to decompress & get everything in order after being gone for 5 days. then it was gear up again! the hub got some new bikes & is hard at work on restoring 3 separate motorcycles to sell & a few to fix. then there are the cars lined up to get work done from some friends & neighbors. so he is nice & busy.
i did my volunteer duty as receptionist for my wonderful acupuncturist on thursday mornings. it's pretty low key & relaxed & gets me out of the house on my own at least one day a week, but this week was surprisingly busy! it was pretty nice feeling useful & needed though in a non-mommy capacity.
now my sister & brother-in-law are on their way up to stay for the weekend. they had to be in the area for a funeral & are staying with us. we'll be checking out the aquarium tomorrow. the hub & i have very surprisingly never been! we love aquariums & have been in pretty much every major city we've visited. but not our own city of the past 9 years... weird. since the pumpkin loves all things fishy- i am sure she will be mesmerized.
after that i have my old job's summer party next weekend which i was invited to. i take it as a good sign that they want me to go & hopefully that 'hire you back someday' isn't too too far in the distant future. while i really do cherish the time i have with caiden i know there is an expiration date so to speak on it. i need my job also to be complete. i miss it, although it has been nice & very easy to keep up with breastfeeding while not working & worrying about pumping. ideally i would have another few months with her to get the bulk of her exclusive breastfeeding behind us by the time i go back. even if i pump & she takes a sippy cup- it's easier than the bottle for her. she does love her cereal, but she also still nurses almost exclusively. cereal is just for play now & i don't plan on pushing it to replace meals anytime soon. i'd like to wait at least another month for that- if only because we are so freaking busy that pumping for the extra milk to make the cereal is a hassle & i am at home!
we go away again in september- since you apparently can not visit one side of the family without then visiting the in-laws. after this though- no traveling for the year! it's exhausting & i honestly don't think we'll be able to afford it. the hub is still looking for jobs & we are rapidly approaching the holy crap what are we going to do zone. not there yet, but soon... i don't even want to think about it right now, let's just say i really hope he finds something soon.
after the beginning of october i think we slow down- but my birthday happens right in the middle of the month. it's a big one & i was really hoping that the hub would be able to do something special. especially since i took him on a weekend getaway to a mountain cabin. especially since i'm turning 30 . especially since i didn't even get a card for mother's day- my very very first after almost 2 years of trying & hoping that i would have at least a bfp by mother's day. but it seems that when it comes to me- something always comes in the way of a big deal. i normally don't like being the center of attention either- but something about this year has made me really want something selfish- something that's all about me & someone else planning the whole fucking thing & all i have to do is wake up, eat & go for the ride.
ah- we'll see how it goes. i should have some awesome pictures (hopefully!) by monday.