8 pounds

that is what the scale said i gained in a month at my 24-ish week appointment today. yikes! i actually would be concerned if it weren't for a few factors:
- i have only previously gained 4.5 pounds in this pregnancy (at my 20-ish week appointment) meaning a grand total weight gain of 12.5 pounds for the entire pregnancy.
- i actually lost a few pounds at the beginning so that weight gain is really more like 10.5 pounds from my 8 week appointment.
- i have no clue what i weighed pre-pregnancy as i last weighed myself in february & that number was only about 5-6 pounds below what i was today.
- i got a scale after i kept staying the same weight- or losing- at appointments & now check every day. yesterday was 4 pounds below this morning's. since i have been sick & most likely not getting enough fluid i am pretty sure that it was 4 pounds of water weight i gained overnight.

for all these reasons i am pretty sure that my actual total weight gain is around 8-10 pounds. i will check again tomorrow morning to be sure. but of course this happens the day of my appointment! my doctor wasn't really concerned- especially after we chatted about all of the above, but she did mention that this was more than they like to see gained in a month. duh- i don't want to gain that quickly! especially 2 weeks before i have to take the 1 hr glucose! i'm still going to make more of an effort to eat a little better. it is the start of the holiday basket & goody season after all. i probably have been eating too much sodium too. i seem to crave salty & cheesy more than anything, or at least gravitate towards it! i'm going to try to replace those urges with fresh fruit & nuts.. (hee hee- nuts!)

other than that the visit was great. everything is normal- the 2nd round of bloodwork for the sequential screen was better than normal- she said numbers were fantastic. the level ii u/s looked great with absolutely perfectly normal kidneys! yay! her heartbeat is still nice & fast & strong in the 150's & the hub is feeling her more & more.

we're going to visit friends this weekend who had their little girl 3 weeks ago tomorrow (thanksgiving baby- how cool is that?!) i am excited to see the hub interact with her & he may even be changing his very first diaper! i've been around infants in my family since i was 12- while i am a little cautious at first i ease into it pretty quickly. he has had virtually no infant experience & they scare the crap out of him. he thinks he will break them. this should be some good training for 3-1/2 months from now. of course it will just make me more impatient until i can meet caiden- i dreamt she was here last night (& had her daddy's nose poor thing!*) she had a full head of dark dark hair & the sweetest mouth i've ever seen. i woke up with such a full heart & so happy. it was fantastic!

*while i adore the hub's nose on the hub- it is quite the classic roman nose- ie way too big & strong for a tiny baby face. especially if that face is a little girls. yes- i will of course think she is the most beautiful creature on the planet if she gets his nose- and strong features just breed strong personalities & characters to go with them. but i saw how much my sister hated her 'beautiful seashell ears' (meaning flapping in the wind) & strong family nose (meaning you could hide in the shade from that thing). and while she is stunning now & her face fits her- i think her personality adapted to it somewhat & she did have to endure endless teasing about features she couldn't change. i just hope my daughter is spared some of that...

so behind

i have my 16 week photo- taken at only 16w4d! i know- i'm a slacker! the good news is that the bump is officially here! now- of course this photo was taken at the end of the day- plus i'm wearing a dress so no sexy naked belly, but you really get the idea! (don't mind the mess- we're cleaning everything we don't use out to make some storage room for the rest of the nursery stuff... anyone looking for a pot rack or a clock?)
it looks really high in this picture too... less than two weeks until the big u/s & hopefully knowing if we are planning for a penis- or a no penis (as my derby girlfriend put it!) i can't wait- we have the boys name set- it's been the same for almost 2 years & we still love it, but the girls name is a bit harder. we are down to two top contenders, but aren't thinking much more about it until we know. so hopefully this kid behaves at some point during the hour they are taking pics & measurements! it will be nice to walk into an appointment & look like i belong there with all the other big bellies.

i have a halloween party to go to tomorrow & on halloween. costumes are tricky. i'm not quite pregnant enough to go as anything obvious & funny- like a pregnant nun (!) but who knows if i will ever have the opportunity to dress a bump for halloween again. i'm going to the first one as as.hley simps.on - easy costume: black t-dress, converse, hoody, straight hair- i already have the bangs, big sunglasses & lots of black eyeliner. the hub can even throw on his own hoody & be Pe.te W.ent.z. without the makeup & straightened hair...

but the next one is all friends- so i have something very special planned. i hope to get to it this weekend, so i will post a pic if it turns out well!

we have a derby fan!

last night i went to see my friend from ny play in her 2nd ever derby game. her league's travel team (granted they have only had their first ever game on the 6th) came down & played the local (to me anyway!) travel team. who has been doing this for years. needless to say- my friend's team was getting pummeled. my poor friend had a separated rib with nerve damage that kept getting slammed into- at one point she needed to bow out for the rest of the period to recover- i thought she was done for the rest of the game, but like a good little trooper she went back in for the 3rd period. then she got slammed & slid out of bounds practically into my lap. she got right back up- even though i could hear her crying in pain a little & kept going. these are some tough ass chicks!
anyway- after spending most of the game around 32-7 her team rallied & really fought back in the 3rd period. ending the game 39-22. still a beating, but much more respectable. especially for the 2nd game these girls have ever played! i was so proud. the home team really had it out for them from the start, testing them to the limits. they're a really strong & cohesive team & when they wanted to play dirty- they know how to do it & not get caught. i was proud to see my native new yorkers give it back though- we have some pretty tough chicks too!

i had been a little worried about spring roll the past few days- knowing it's normal not to feel movement everyday & not to be able to feel consistent movement is one thing, but going through it scared the crap out of me! i just wanted another little bubble, one more internal tickle. my good kid obliged last night watching his/her aunt kt on the track. i got a nice long series of tumbles as she flew by! i of course had to tell her that we have a future derby kid in there & she promised to get the first skates & pads! it was a pretty great night all in all.

bump watch '08

i officially have bump jealousy. yesterday my former manager (10 1/2 weeks pregnant) came into work with an adorable bump. it's her 4th kid so i understand completely that she will show far quicker than me. but tomorrow's 16w pic will show that there really is no bump to speak of. there's a tiny belly, but i can't call it a bump. and i am jealous! i want to be popped already! i know it's a blessing that my body is reacting this way to pregnancy- every woman's dream to be smaller & look better pregnant, blah,blah, blah. but seeing the cuteness that is the bump every day & knowing she is a month & a half behind me just makes me want to fast forward to that part!

i really don't want to fast forward a second of this pregnancy. i am savoring it like a fine wine since i can't be sure that we'll get lucky twice. i am thinking of this as my one & only pregnancy so i won't regret not doing or having something if it doesn't happen again. then again- that's probably why i want the bump to pop so soon- so i can see the evidence clearly!

actually- what would make me happier & more comfortable with taking longer to show (which isn't all that long i know!) is if i could feel flutters again. i felt it twice on tuesday & nothing noticeable since. i know it takes a while to be consistent & to really feel it, but how long is normal? is it normal to feel once a week for a few weeks? that's one thing i haven't found yet- but i am off to research. any personal experiences are much appreciated- if only to calm my highly overactive imagination!

officially out- updated

today was the review. it went really well, my goals were all talked about & validated, my areas to work on were what i want to work on too. nothing shocking or surprising mentioned. it was a really good conversation about what works & what doesn't. all in all the most positive & open review i think i've ever had. at the end i told my boss, she screamed a little. i definitely surprised her! it was really good though & i am now so relieved & happy! later tonight my manager came up with a plan to announce to the rest of the office- being a jokester she said that she would just loudly ask if i was gaining weight because i was looking a little fat lately. to make everyone uncomfortable. i actually thought it was a little funny, but we were at a work function & getting into the elevator with everyone else. who just heard her say that i was looking fat lately. so then getting off the elevator i explained that it was okay- i'm not really fat- there's just an extra person in there. to which i got a very high pitched 'you're preggo??!!' from my old manager. it was a great reaction & so nice to just talk about it to my hearts content without whispering in a corner!
tomorrow i wear the cute tight sweater & show off the mini-bump proudly!

update: it was too warm for the sweater today- but i did wear a cute tighter shirt i haven't felt comfortable wearing until i was 'out'. no 'hey you're fat' comments, but a lot of really nice heartfelt congratulations & genuine warmth. i have to say that as hard as work can be sometimes- i really do love my coworkers & the support & love they give! oh- and the bump is definitely mini- the people who didn't know until today still said i don't even look pregnant. but the few who knew could see it i think. hell- i can see it & that's all that really matters! well- the hub too. this morning as we were waking up he reached over to caress the bump. too bad he was actually gently patting my ass. i corrected him & still thought it was incrediblt sweet- and hilarious!

14 weeks

i know i am a day late, but we are actually up visiting friends in northernmost jersey this weekend. it's been really great since he & the hub have been really good friends forever, and i get along with her really well. they are also expecting next month- so there's that bond too.

i have to admit i was nervous at first- their pregnancy was a little hard to hear about a few months before mine- we were facing down saving up for iui #1 & only & so scared about things not working. i am honestly feeling more blessed that i am pregnant now & we can share this together. since she's got 20 weeks or so on me i can see & hear all that i have to look forward to. (not that i don't through the lovely ladies of blogland, it's just nice to be physically there with someone)

we were walking around & exploring & just enjoying being together yesterday. we had a wonderful dinner at this little thai place with the most amazing dessert- banana spring rolls with honey sesame sauce. oh. my. god. i haven't had enough appetite for dinner & dessert in about 3 months, so last night was such a treat! the boys got to enjoy beers together without feeling like they were drinking alone, even though they started out the night with a delicious smelling oktoberfest... ah- i miss beer! (really good, dark, rich beer!) today we are hanging out for a little bit, but then we have to get back home so the hub can put my car back together. long story- the short version is all the seats were out of the car by 9 am with the covers off to get washed, and they didn't end up back on the car when we had to leave at 1... i'll be taking his car tomorrow if i have to!

in the most exciting news- the belly has occurred! it is tiny & mainly just looks fat in most clothes, but i got a few super cute tight long shirts & one green sweater to show it off. the hub seems to like it & i am thrilled that i finally have something to proudly stick out! it does make next week more challenging as there are only 2 reviews to get through at work- mine being one of them. i really want to be able to get through my review & then tell them (even i say it as the review is over which is my plan!) but if i get pushed to the week after i will not be able to hide the belly any more. nor do i want to. i want to show this off proudly! i worked hard for it dammit & even though i do truly believe that we had our own little miracle happen to get here- i am here & i want the world to know how happy i am!

so- here's the 14 week belly, i do need to work with the hub on his picture taking skills, but in his defense we were rushing to get out of the house:



(apparently blogger doesn't like the crappy wireless signal- this may have to wait until we get home!)

so- back home- picture uploaded just fine. trip was really nice- only an hour & half or so. the hub & i got to chat the whole way down. i hope we get to have a little weekend getaway like this again soon.

12 weeks ( a few days late)

so i am now 12 weeks... holy shit! i wonder if i will always be this amazed to hit another week? does it ever get old? i could stare at the little widget baby for hours now- all the creepy alien look is gone!

saturday night was wonderful, it was so great to see my friend! she was a ref for the bout & she was told right before it started that she was going to be a jam ref (basically keeping count of how many points one of the teams gets) she was so nervous, but she did great. there was an extremely obnoxious fan in the crowd right next to us who kept screaming & yelling about every play & every call that he thought didn't go his wife's teams way. there was a five year old sitting right next to him & he was just shouting & cursing the entire time. typical obnoxious sports fan. i only got upset when he started bitching out the refs (especially my friend since she was the jam ref for the other team at that point) he was about one outburst from getting kicked out. and the ironic part is that his wife's team had a significant lead from very early on. they won the bout by over 15 points.

anyway- it was great to see my friend & get to hear a congrats in person from her. i hopefully get to give her a congrats in 2 weeks since she will have her first ever bout coming up! the only sticking point is it's on a sunday & 2 hours away. so hopefully the hub can go with me so he can either drive back or at least keep me company while i drive back!

i started setting up a baby website. i'm doing it more for the grandparents & any friends that i don't particularly want to read this blog, but who still want to keep tabs on the pregnancy. i'm not sure how i feel about it yet- it's still in progress. it needs more work before i feel it's ready to share. i'm not thrilled with the site, but i wasn't crazy about any of the other really baby centric ones. even though i liked the content they had, the layout really bugged me since there's nothing really gender neutral that i liked! i know- design snob!

here's the good stuff- 12 week belly shot. the hub finally remembered the camera- see even though i am much closer to 13 weeks- here's 12w5d...

another week another post

damn- i really suck lately at this posting shit. it has been an excessively busy week at work- next week will not be any better- and i am just so dead tired at the end of the day it's all i can muster to read a few blogs & leave a couple comments.
all excuses aside- this has been a big week for me. well- a big two days anyway. yesterday i bought my first maternity pants. no- i am not showing at all & i have actually technically lost weight since my first appointment (more on that in a bit) but my pants are feeling uncomfortably tight around my belly lately. it's tolerable in the morning, but by the evening i just want to unbutton the damn things or walk around in stretchy yoga pants. so while i was getting cat food & detergent i picked up a pair of pretty nice work maternity pants. i tried them on & instantly felt so much better. they have the two stretchy side pieces- no panel, so they actually fit now without falling down. i will probably need a belly band later on with them- but i may be actually wearing them this week. yikes!
i am unjustifiably nervous about actually wearing these pants. i am so afraid i will jinx the pregnancy by putting them on too soon. they are hanging in my closet with the tags on & will stay there until at least wednesday. i have my next appointment on tuesday morning & they hope to get a heartbeat on the doppler. i can't see myself wearing maternity pants before then. no matter how comfortable they are... weird- i know.

the hub got a scale this week as he is trying to lose weight. i haven't owned a scale in years since i usually fluctuate 5-7 pounds anyway & i only gauge by how clothes fit. but since he got it i decided to get on & see how much i've gained since being weighed at the docs almost 6 weeks ago. a little history- i m short & curvy. i am only a size 8, but i weigh a lot more than i look like i do. after my surgery i was ballooned up to almost 170 pounds due to the inactivity before it & the bloat & gain after. i have slowly taken that down- it took a long time because my diet really couldn't be altered too much to cut anything out & my activity level could only increase slowly. but i was down about 10 pounds right before the iui. then at my first appointment with the ob i was down to 155. (the nurse asked me where i put it- i think it was a compliment...) i was glad i was down a little more than i thought i was because i really want to be careful about my weight gain. i am eating very healthy & i just can't eat as much at a time as i used to. but i snack a lot more. i guess that i am just not getting enough calories in because i was down to 153 this morning. i'm not throwing up much- only 4 times or so- and i do eat & keep food down, but i guess the increased caloric need is just not being met.
in a way i am glad that i am not overdoing it- but i want to make sure i get enough in. it's just hard with the serious food aversions i seem to have. i will be halfway through a meal & literally not be physically able to eat another bite. i can usually eat what i want at night, so i do, but it just might not be enough. i'll have to ask the doc when i go, but overall i am not overly concerned- just keeping it in the back of my mind...
granted- i do still have a little 'extra' fuel packed on for spring roll- so i'm pretty sure s/he'll be just fine!

i am however really feeling things starting to push out or up. i got my 2 belly bands today & had to run & put the black one on immediately. it's amazing to me how just my belly feels the need for more space. my ass & hips & thighs still totally fit my pants- i just want them unbuttoned! i mention all this only because i always thought that since i had some extra weight & am a little curvier that i would gain all over immediately. my brain knows that the way that my body is working is perfect for me & everything is great, but it's still strange to reconcile. i never expected to fit into size 8 maternity wear. i thought i would have to go up immediately. i very well may still have to, but i am just so surprised it's not yet.

i am still wondering when i will officially tell work- i had originally thought it would be this week, but i really want to wait until after my review. that won't be until next week at the earliest. at the rate they are going i may be 13-14 weeks along before they know. not that that's a bad thing, but every week that goes by i am afraid i will slip it out somehow & not be able to tell who i want how i want. since i can only forsee doing this pregnancy thing this one time (at least for now) i really want to get it right & do everything i want. i want the fairy-tale pregnancy as much as i can get it. by that i just mean i want to be able to embrace everything as if i am never going through it again. so if i never do i won't think 'i wish i had done it that way instead'. you know?

this has been a ramble, but i am still here & things are going really well overall. i a so excited to see the widget looking like a real baby- i can't believe it's 11 weeks already!

already?

i am a quarter of the way through pregnancy. holy fucking shit! 10 weeks (& 1day) i was going to post the belly pic yesterday, but it was a bit of a rough day. i am hormonally overloaded & the hub & i gt into a huge fight. i honestly can't remember how it started- or even what it was about now. but at the time i was convinced we were going to split up & i would be a single mom... then i just had to leave the house- during the heaviest downpour of the remnants of the hurricane that actually hit up here (nothing too bad- just some pounding rain for a bit). by the time i got back he was thankfully apologetic (even if i can't remember if he needed to apologize, but he learns quickly!) and we went out thrift store shopping.

i went to put on my normal (slightly skinny) weekend jeans & they just felt too uncomfortable. they still fit & look fine, but felt like i was wearing a big rubber band across my belly. as soon as i unbuttoned them i realized i really need a belly band with them if i am going to continue to attempt wearing them! i ordered one this week, but i probably won't get it before the end of next week at the earliest. i found 2 for $20 online & absolutely refuse to pay $30 each at the evil maternity store.

when we got to the thrift store i beelined it to the maternity section. for the most part this place has barely used, really nice, upscale clothes donated there, so i tried on a pair of corduroy maternity pants. i still don't fit in them, but they were so freaking comfortable! i noticed little wear right where the band attached to the pant so i didn't get them, but i think in a few weeks i will have to start looking for them seriously. shirts i am pretty good with. there are a few that just don't fit right anymore, but for the most part they are all still fine.

we also got our first purchase for spring roll. a few receiving blankets at $1 each. it felt a little weird to buy something this early, but we both told ourselves that for that cheap we should just get them since we saw them. he also got a new backpack that could easily double as a daddy diaper bag if needed.

then we took the plunge. we went to the r-us store... wandered around looking at cribs for features we like & to compare prices. i have decided that a separate changing table is pretty useless. we already have a dresser that could just get restained & refinished to be brand new & we just need to pop a changing pad on top of that. thankfully the hub is very handy & can even make a box to stabilize the changing pad. cribs we may look for second-hand. i am still undecided because of not knowing if we really need a new one or not. luckily there's time. the hub saw a pack-n-play & decided that it's the best thing ever. it was really cute to see him get excited over one! then, just as we went to explore the travel system area & play with all the strollers- i spotted a woman that works pretty closely with my job. it was very 007 for a minute as we tried to sneak out of the store before she spotted me! (i haven't told my job yet- except for my manager- and i just didn't want to have to try to come up with an excuse why we were there.) we ended up heading home & stopped at another store by my house that i had forgotten about and really got to explore. it was really nice to see the hub folding up strollers & figuring out how the car seats went with them. we found 2 we really like. since i have plenty of time i figure we can wait to see which one is the best & when they go on sale! (i am a severe bargain shopper- i am the budgeter which is why we are still okay, pretty much, after he had a year with no salary while he had the shop. so i always try to find the best, least expensive option. just wanted to throw that out since i realized i was talking money a lot in this post!) i think that the only things i definitely want to buy new are the pack-n-play (because i am picky about colors & style) and the travel system. i am fine with hand-me down clothes, bedding, toys, bouncers, even the crib as long as i am comfortable with the quality & safety.

we are really starting to get cautiously excited & i guess i am starting to get more comfortable & relaxed with the fact that i am really pregnant. i can't wait until my next appointment (1 week & 2 days) to see if we can hear the heartbeat, but my nausea has me pretty well comforted about spring roll doing what he's supposed to. (i've said it before- but isn't it just weird that we get happy for feeling sick?)

anyway- here is 10 week belly pic. i really need to start getting the hub to take them. or use the tripod because these really suck! i don't really see too much difference in two weeks. except the boobs. they really are huge! the hub is thrilled- especially since they are starting to hurt less. just a dull ache especially in the morning.