no test this morning. my temps took a nose dive & i can just tell that later today or tomorrow i'll know for sure. i just couldn't face seeing yet another clear stark absence of a line. absence of life & hope.
now i get to lather rinse & repeat. wait another month for the next step forward. wait to see if i can drag my heart out little by little in the futility of trying unassisted. each month it becomes harder & harder to think we really can do this on our own (believe me- i want to move forward, but we still don't have that extra grand in the bank). but each month it becomes more desperate that i want & need to do this. i can't imagine actually getting pregnant, but i can't imagine my life child-free. i hate being here.
3 comments:
"I can't imagine getting pregant but I can't imagine living child-free"...I so relate.
Damn temps. Damn them to hell. I am going to be the hold out though. I have had temp dips at period time and still be preggo. I have a chart that looks like a see-saw. I am sticking to my guns. Signs aren't nothing till they are hindsight.
Chin up. xoxo
m
Oh Jenn, I'm sorry. I know exactly what you mean.
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