i just noticed

my last post- the best post!- was number 222. That's my mom's absolute favorite number, hmm.

i of course poas this morning to see that little plus sign again- it's still there, visible now from the first 30 seconds. i will pee on my last test tomorrow & then decide whether to get more (probably not) or just wait until i enter beta world. i had blood drawn yesterday, but my insurance sucks for some things & it needs to be sent out- which means i hear my first # the day i get my 2nd draw on monday. and i hear how they rise by wednesday, maybe? it's slightly nerve-wracking, and very strange. i dreamt last night that yesterday's number was 39, and that for some reason the test i peed on gave me a number today of 31. which of course had me freaked out & i woke up so nervous about seeing the line at all! what a relief- even if it's just a small one- to see the second line sooner & darker this morning than yesterday. I know pregnancy can be one giant freak out- and i am feeling it already!
the hub is being very cute- not letting me drive (aaarrggh), not letting me close the hatch of the subaru as we do our errand shopping today. oh- also very cute is the fact that he refuses to have sex because he doesn't want to jostle anything out of place! ridiculous! (this entire paragraph is all sarcasm, by the way)
i am a little touched by how sweet he is being to me, all machismo aside- he hasn't even really made fun of me for completely passing out 2 nights in a row before 9 pm on the couch. he does feel a little better too about seeing the darker line today. i am just hoping to make it through to the betas & see them rising well.
i am wondering when i will stop feeling like i have to check for blood every time i go to the bathroom. it is very surreal & such a strange feeling. other than my fatigue & random very light cramps i have no symptoms. no sore boobs, no nauseau, i feel full faster or don't feel like eating as much- especially for dinner, but i think that's more because of the exhaustion. the lack of boob soreness was really the clue for me that this may have worked- i always have incredibly sore boobs starting at least 3 days before i get af. i realized on thursday that they didn't hurt a bit & that was so unusual that it got me all hopped on hope. i can't believe she didn't sucker punch me this time. i was so prepared to be crying & self-medicating with delicious organic beer this weekend. it's just surreal to not be there- i can't seem to wrap my head completely around the fact that i am in fact pregnant! i have a due date too- well, one based on my iui anyway- april 4, 2009. an aries. i am debating putting a widget on the blog- they are slightly creepy, but i kind of like it anyway. maybe after the betas.

oh- one last thing, i know there's many ways to handle a blog that goes from IF to pregnancy & i just wanted to say that i will most likely not be posting any warnings or 'pregnancy mentioned' type posts. i completely understand if someone can't stop by or comment or stops reading altogether. i will be a little sad, but i get it. there are many blogs that i just could not continue to comment on or read once they got the bfp. and i really really do get it, but i am blogging more for my own personal record of this journey & will continue to post in my usual brain purging manner ;o) i hope my small group of readers continues to come by & share in this new terrifying & exciting part of the journey- but i really do understand if you don't/can't.
that said- thank you again for all the wonderful support & comments- especially these last few months (& this past one in particular!) i really am so blessed to have seen today & no matter what the future holds this miracle has made me so grateful, so happy, so surreally peaceful. thank you for helping to prop me up when i needed it & cheering for me when it all went so beautifully!