Monday, October 15, 2007

now- for something completely different

i am going to try something new this cycle. i am going to force myself to think positive thoughts only & be calm in every aspect of my life. think it- be it kind of thing. i know how ridiculous i am going to sound & this is not to piss anyone off- but what if i am stressing myself out of a good ovulation- i mean, they have been coming later & later & i have been uber-stressed. it can't hurt- it just might help. it doesn't cost anything & reducing stress is always a good idea.

i was very upset on saturday, mildly upset yesterday. just thinking about fairness & patience & timing & heartbreak. but there is no fairness in trying to conceive your child. there is no way to lessen the wait, or decide when it is time, the only one i can have any control over is my own feelings & emotions. being a hypersensitive person with emotions that flip on like turning on a light- this will be a challenge. i can wallow in my own self-pity for days. but i won't. i will turn it off. maybe i'll even try to pretend i can forget i'm ttc. because something's gotta change & until i can get my horrible insurance to cover some testing- the only factor i can control is me.

8 comments:

Jen said...

I'm sorry about AF. I'm inspired by your attitude though. We can't let TTC control us and our emotions, now can we!

nancy said...

Just relax and it will happen.

AwkwardMoments said...

I think being positive is an excellent start. SOme times we can get very caught up and overwhelmed. I call it sensory overload. I think making a choice to try and stay positive is a great way to start things off - wishing for great and positive things to come

Anonymous said...

(((HUGS))) Sorry Jenn, I know how you feel. I know how hard it can be to put on a smiley face for everyone, and there are some days where I think "Screw them, I'll be mad if I want to" but for the most part I try to stay at least somewhat happy.

I can't picture you not being happy; you're always right there to give hugs and make someone's day...so I hope all that kindness comes back on you 10 fold and you get whatever your heart desires.

Birdee said...

(lol-Nancy)
((((Breath))))) Ok, I'm in, I'll help you...

jenn said...

hee hee Nancy- I ~knew~ it was going to come across like that in some way!

Thank you everyone for the kind words & wishes- I really do feel so much better just seeing the "you have comments!" It's nice to know you're understood, maybe it will help in staying "relaxed"! ;o)

nancy said...

Oh Jenn, you knew I couldn't help it! :) I ~puffy heart~ you! But you already know that.

jenn said...

I expect nothing less Nancy! ;o)

Of course I know it- I ~puffy heart~ ya right back!