i am nervous. when we started this day was always hypothetical- if we get to testing. now it's here! and i know that there is only so much we can do right now. my mind is racing with the new ifs.
- if i have an ovulation problem- i don't think i do except for ovulating late (and seemingly later every month) can we do medication. if so- how much is it & would it have any hope of being covered.
- if he has the problem what the heck are the options. i know that my insurance covers testing 100%- but only covers the underlying cause of infertility. and who knows what- if anything- that is & if the treatment is covered.
- if we are unexplained- does that mean we just try different things- clomid (or equivalent), IUI
tom is closing the shop- i am 94% sure by jan. 1st it will be no more. we don't know yet what he will be doing. after selling what he has to to make up the loss the shop has incurred- i don't know how long he really can be out looking for a new job. he's always come through- but we usually have a little cushion which is now long gone. he does have at least a month so hopefully something is figired out soon. but we only have one car & i have no clue how we would get another. and we need at least 4-6 months (after he gets a steady income) to recoup from this past year. which means that anything we may have to pay for out of pocket for treatment is automatically pushed back until we can pay off debts & save up for it if need be. which could be as soon as 6 months from now. but more likely 8 months to a year. because after this past year i can't take out a loan, i can't wrack up anything else on credit cards - especially since i had planned to have them paid of by this time & i've put $2-3K on them this year. not terrible for having less than half of our previous income to live off of, but still terrible to me. we need to be clear & then save up for treatment. and this would be hard to live with.
i know i am thinking too far ahead right now- but i can't help it. i'm a type-a planner. i need to know these things so i can make plans for the possibility of them. i know i need to get through some tests before any more planning is even considered- and i promise to try. but today- today is all about every possibility running through my mind. today i get to freak out a little. after all- it's been a rough week- if i get it all out of my system now then i can just go through it. because it can't ever be as bad as i imagine it could be. and once it happens i will have thought of all the different options and worse case scenarios so that it's nothing to actually do it. hopefully i can stop thinking about it and just let it all unfold.
oh- i have also decided to not temp or opk this month. (at least i think i won't opk- i may still change my mind) with the cycle starting around thanksgiving & ending around christmas- i just don't need the hassle. i'd rather be preoccupied with coming up with creative & cheap gifts (any suggestions are welcome) and how to come up with some extra money to finish our kitchen for our gift to ourselves. i do still plan on having tons of sex at the approximate time- just in case a christmas miracle is possible for us.
3 comments:
breathe in breathe out ..one day at a time .. and if you don't want to temp/opk then don't. Concetrate on tom/holidays.. no time is lost. hang in there
Well, good for you for making the step. Getting to this mile marker is hard in itself, but for some reason, making the call was even harder. For me at least.
I definitely think the s/a is #1 priority. Get that out of the way. Tom just needs to do it. I know it's easier said than done and I know it's embarrassing for him, but he simply ~needs~ to. There are super expensive S/As and there are cheaper ones. For ease of him, I wouldn't have him make a dr's appointment. I would simply have MY doc order a standard one that measures the main components: volume, concentration (count), motility & total motility count and morphology. We paid out of pocket and it was under $200. I want to say $135 though. If he's covered under your insurance, great! If not, it's a simple test to totally get ONE HALF of any potential problems out of the way. (isn't it great how easy it is to test for EVERYTHING on a man?)
After that the RE should work with you in the tests. Basic cd3 b/w & u/s and then an HSG between cd7-10 is usually where things start. Then, based on findings, it progresses from there.
At your OBGYN appointment, I would get a referral to an RE. It's not that your OB can't do the tests, because she most likely can, but REs are SET UP for the timing of all of these very time sensitive tests you need. That is the issue I had with my OB. They just weren't setup for working me in 2 days after I get AF. And they had to send me out for blood work. And for the HSS and everything else. My RE does everything in house and their schedules are flexible enough to accomodate all kinds of issues - like cd3 landing on a weekend or 3 appointments to be made THIS week, etc. Another biggie is when I see OBs give out clomid willy nilly without MONITORING via u/s ~and~ blood work.
Sorry this got so long. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but sometimes when a conversation doesn't apply to ~you~ at the time, info doesn't seem as important.
Wow. Longest comment in history of me.
It's just cause I ~puffy heart~ you Jenn!!!
holy cow Nancy!!! that is the longest comment I've seen ever, lol! and in case I haven't said it lately- I ~puffy heart~ you right back.
I am definitely having him get the s/a- and he is fully covered for it but under his insurance which unfortunately means he needs the referral from HIS doc. but he'll get it. it's gone from all I want for birthday to all I want for christmas!
and while I am 100% sure that I will get the RE referral- I will find out what my OB can do for the simpler tests- they are also extremely flexible with last minute appointments & they do blood work in office. I just don't think they are set up for all of it- but while I wait for the RE appointment I can probably get something done...
and yes- it is AMAZING how simple it is to rule out male factor. and yet how hard it is to get them to just do it.
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